Page 22 of Homesick, Lovesick
He dug his phone out of his sleeping bag, along with the solar charger he'd use once the sun came up in a few hours, and started going through a billion texts from Traci, Benny, Penny, and his uncles.Uncle Rick had called him like ten times, that wasn't like him.
Crazy they were getting reception at all.Swallowing, anxiety spiking for no good reason at all, he called Rick back.
The phone had barely rung once when he answered."Ronan, thank god.Are you doing okay?"
"I'm fine," Ronan said.
"Benny had Match on speaker for a bit, we heard the whole sordid tale.I was roofied once, you know.When I was eighteen.My friend found me in time, thank god.So I know very well you're not fine."
Ronan sniffled, a tear finally escaping to roll slowly down his cheek.He wiped it away impatiently."I'm holding steady.I'll be okay for now.Probably only buying bottled drinks for a bit."What he'd do at restaurants, he didn't know, but one problem at a time.Who knew, maybe by the time he went to a restaurant, his new phobia would have dialed back.Problem for later.
"Honey, I still don't take drinks from anyone but Phil, my sisters, and you.If they don't pour it or one of us doesn't watch it get poured, I don't drink it.Even though I'm ugly old man now—"
"Not ugly!"Phillip hollered in the background."Definitely old and crotchety, though."
"That's rich coming from you, you cranky old queen," Rick replied cheerfully.
Ronan laughed-cried."Really, I'm hanging on.Breaking his nose helped."
"Hell, yes.My friend, her name was Roseanne, but we called her Rosie, broke the nose of the dude who tried to assault me.I don't even remember his stupid name anymore, just his awful cologne.I'd been trying to overlook it.Always judge a man by his cologne."
Phillip, closer now, said, "You didn't like my cologne."
"Yeah, and you threw it out, and then the next time you asked me out I said yes because you were wearing a better one,andyou listened to me.What man could resist that?"
"Me," Phillip said dryly, "becauseyounever listen tome."
"Yours is to obey, darling, not mine," Rick replied breezily."Anyway, Ronan, we're here if you need us.I'm too old to be gallivanting into the woods on a death machine, but I'll try it if you want me to come."
Ronan laughed at the idea of his poor uncles geared up and zipping through the woods on four wheelers."Me and my new trust issues will be just fine waiting until we're home to see you.Anyway, Uncle Phil would insist on driving, and none of us wants that."
"There's no cause to be rude!"Phillip said indignantly.
"The truth hurts, darling.We'll let you go now, Ronan.Take care of yourself—"
"No, wait!I want to tell you first!I asked Match to marry me and he said yes!"
"Oh.My.God!Obviously he said yes, of course, but congratulations.We'll start planning the engagement party immediately.You go kick those assholes in the balls and then celebrate with my favorite son-in-law.Ciao, baby."
Ronan smiled as he hung up, and kept smiling as he replied to all the texts.He'd almost caught up when Match appeared with a bundle of familiar-looking leaves."How the hell did you find those in the dark?"
"Flashlight and experience.One of my training exercises was to be able to identify plants in the dark, because you never know what circumstances you'll be facing in an emergency situation, and being able to find the right plant quickly could be the difference between life and death."
"Man, and I thought fighting in the dark was annoying.You win," Ronan said with a grin."By the way, I told my uncles about the engagement, and they're planning a party.I should have anticipated that, but foolishly, I did not."
"You didn't?Really?Because I was already wondering if I had anything suitable to wear for whatever craziness they cook up.It'll be really fancy fine dining or a paintball tournament.There's no in-between with them."
Ronan snickered at the idea of his uncles hosting a paintball tournament.They'd do it with particular flair, that was for certain."I think dinner is ready.Thank you for getting the mint.I would have been fine with water."
"It's the least I can do, Ronan.It'll always haunt me I thoughtwas he druggedand then saidno, I'm just being paranoid, they'd never do that."
Ronan dragged him into a kiss."There's no need for that.They're the only ones to blame in this mess."He looked past Match's shoulder to where Marvin sat looking like he'd lost his whole world, and Lynwood was just beginning to stir.
He ignored them for the moment, far more interested in dishing up soup and biscuits and chocolate cake that he enjoyed happily with mint tea picked and made specifically for him by the love of his life.When that was done, he could barely keep his eyes open, though it was just plain old boring, not drugged exhaustion.
"Get some rest," Match said."I'm way too keyed up to sleep anyway, and I don't want to leave these assholes unsupervised, even though it would take an act of god to break them free of their magic tethers."Raising his voice, he said "You assholes can wander off just far enough to piss, and I'll bring your sleeping bags, and maybe some trail mix."
"Thank you," Marvin said meekly.
