Page 81 of Sundowners
“Had you heard the term before?” I asked.
Vanessa cleared her throat. “From Donna Hicks. She mentioned it was part of the initiation but she didn’t know what it was. They didn’t allow her to go to her husband’s initiation.”
I said a silent apology to Cross and Mark.
“There were four Guardians with The Source for the ceremony, four Leaders, and four Learners. The Guardians were there for protection and, from what I’d been told in preparation, in case anything went wrong. The Leaders were there to observe, to bear witness. The Learners, we were told that we would be initiated. Once we were given the blessing of the Source, we would have an Exchange with them that would alter our body chemistry, making our work as healers much more powerful. We were assured that it would be relatively painless, that it was the necessary step in the next phase of our learning.” I shuddered, and Roman placed a hand on my arm.
“And I’m guessing it wasn’t,” Barringer said.
I shook my head, my eyes stinging. “No, it wasn’t. I was the third to receive…the Exchange, and if I hadn’t been so in shock at what happened to the others, I would have run before Stephen acted. He…” I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes, wishing I didn’t see red when they were closed.
“Mr. Lowell?” Barringer prompted me. “The Exchange?”
All the years that I’d suppressed even thinking of that night made my tongue heavy, my throat thick.
“I thought the Guardians and Leaders were supposed to observe, but when it was the first initiate’s turn, the Guardians held them down and…the others…bit them. And then the Source, they…took blood inside of them, and then forced their blood into the initiate.”
I was purposefully vague. I really didn’t want to go deeper but I could see Barringer’s curiosity.
“What was that like for you?” he asked.
I dug my nails into my palms. “It was excruciating. The most painful experience of my life. We’d been taught to release a pheromone, a natural chemical all humans have, in order to make the person comfortable and make the Exchange painless. We learned how to express it on command before manipulating a person’s energy, but for the initiation, they said we needed to experience the Exchange without anything to ease our suffering so we would never forget…that we would never take without permission. We were taught to take only what we needed to survive and to give unto others what they required.”
Roman sat up a little straighter and guilt crashed over me. He was getting a taste of what he’d signed up for when he chose me, and damn, but I hated once more that I’d brought him into my world. Best intentions and all that…
“So how is this Stephen different?” Vanessa asked.
“Certain kinds of energy feed us differently—”
“You mentioned energy before,” the captain said. “What do you mean by that?”
This was my opportunity to come clean. I wondered if they would actually believe me.
“Think of it this way, sir. When you are in the process of apprehending a suspect, how does that feel for you?” I looked around the table. They looked at each other with frowns.
“You get an adrenaline rush,” Rey finally said. “The more they fight, the more pumped you get.”
“Right. You feed off their energy, you adjust your behavior based on how they respond to you. You live in a reality where you’re constantly on edge, never sure how people are going to behave, and that is draining after a while, isn’t it?”
All of the officers nodded and shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
“I’m kind of the opposite. Someone is angry? Aggressive? Good. The more the better. I take it in and it feeds me. Negative energygivesme energy, instead of draining me, if that makes sense? The more energy I take in, the more positive energy I’m able to respond with. That’s why I work with the elderly. Sundowning…you know the term? How patients who are experiencing dementia have a shift in the afternoons and evenings? They become agitated, upset, their symptoms are worse. When I’m there, I take it in, take that extra negative energy away from them, and they feel better.”
The others in the room sat there staring at me with no way of comprehending what I’d just said.
“It’s true. I’ve seen him do it,” Roman said. “And when he’s not there, the patients lose a little ground. I’ve seen it with my lola.” He glanced at me and cleared his throat. “I can’t explain it either, but I know he’s not lying.”
“Can you show us?” Barringer asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “It’s not exactly a situation you can set up… Well, actually, that’s not true. That’s what you asked me originally, about how Stephen is different. He realized while we were in our cohort that he could create the necessary scenario to feed.”
“The attacks,” Vanessa said.
“Yeah. He started that stuff in our cohort with his minions. Bullied people, cornered them and terrified them. He has a gift that was unique among us. He did it once to my best friend. He can plant images in your mind, whatever he wants, and instead of using his gift for good, like maybe giving people peace during their difficult times, he shows you terrifying things, and then feeds off the person’s terror. Over and over in a loop—”
“The fear study,” Roman said, looked to Vanessa.
“Donna said she was being kept away from it, but they were doing experiments using fear to create energy, and that was part of what made her try to leave the first time.”
