Page 14 of Road Trip
“I was surprised, too,” she admitted, and we both laughed. “That sounded bad, I’m sorry. I told you people think I’m a bitch.”
“No. That’s not what I mean at all. I think it’s refreshing. I don’t worry about whether you are going to tell me what you’re really thinking. To be honest, your words, your frankness…that turns me on like…man, I don’t even know.”
“I just say what I want. Why play games?”
“You’re right. I feel like I’m supposed to know how to proceed here, and I don’t.”
She raised an eyebrow and her eyes flared. “Most men don’t like being told what a woman wants.”
“I’m asking.”
She sighed. “The way you touched me? The way you were eyeing me? That was exactly what I wanted.”
My breath caught in my chest.
“I loved doing that,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse.
She smirked. “I just think it makes it better for everyone involved if both parties know what the other needs to get off,” she said with a little shrug.
I didn’t think it was possible for me to get harder, but every word that came out of her mouth made me throb with need. “I can’t speak for other men. I just know the way you said it wasn’t demanding or threatening. It was unbelievably sexy.”
“What about you, Kelly? What do you want?”
I swallowed hard. I felt like her question was a test.
She must have caught my hesitation. She touched my chest and said, “Don’t think about what I want to hear. Tell me what you want. What makes you feel good?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it until you asked me. Talking is making me feel really good. I haven’t just talked to a woman…gosh, I loved it when you undressed me, the way you used your fingernails…”
“How about sex, Kelly? Are you a missionary guy? Do you like to experiment? Any fetishes?”
“I don’t know. That’s just it. I’m trying to think of what I like and all I can think of is what’s in front of me.”
She stopped talking and then shook her head. “No. See, this is not the part where you try to woo me. I want to know what you want.”
“And that’s what I’m trying to tell you, Abra. I can already tell that sex with you isn’t going to be like it was with anyone else I’ve ever been with. I don’t want that kind of sex. I want whatever it is you’ve got in mind, because I have a feeling it won’t come even close to comparing.”
“Is there anything that’s off-limits?” She ran her finger down my torso.
“I—” Goosebumps erupted all over my skin and I started to feel lightheaded.
“Look. I think you’ve had enough. Shall we continue this conversation later?” She pulled the sheet up under her chin and curled up, her chin dropping to her chest so I couldn’t see her expression. Her voice was really quiet.
Great. I’d messed up.
“Yeah, sure. But please come here.” I needed to hold her.
She still seemed to be stalling out, as if she wasn’t comfortable with this form of intimacy. We’d had such an intimate conversation, but she didn’t want me to hold her?
I pulled her closer, bringing us chest to chest. I ran my hands down her back and dug my thumbs in a little.
“Mmmmm,” she moaned and her head fell back. “That feels so good.”
“When was the last time you had a massage?”
“A good one? Years. I dated this chick for a while who was a massage therapist and—”
“Wait, what? What did you just say?”
She looked at me with disappointment. She started to speak, and I cut her off.
“Abra, you’re going to have to help me out here. You say things like that and I’m going to have a reaction. I’m not judging, okay?”
Her eyebrow perked up and she put her hands on my chest.
“I’m bisexual, Kelly. I’ve had men and women as my lovers. I’ve lived with both, and honestly, I’ve been fucked over by both and taken advantage of by both. I haven’t been in a relationship in a couple of years because I’d had enough and it was time to take care of me instead of everyone else. That’s why I’m careful. That’s also why I don’t expect a whole lot from people. What do you think about that?”
She tried to sound matter of fact, but I could hear the hurt in her voice.
“I think I’m thankful you shared that with me. I don’t intend to become one of those people. As for whether you like girls or guys…wow. I mean, I guess as long as you’re in bed with me I’m going to assume it’s because you want to be with me for the time being. And maybe if I’m a good learner, you’ll decide I’m still worth your investment.”
