Page 53 of Beside the Rolling Waves
“Well. That feels better,” Rodney said, sounding relieved but also a tone of humor in his voice.
“Yeah. So much better.”
“How long until they sleep through the night?” he asked.
She thought it might have been a rhetorical question. “I haven’t looked. But I think it varies. Anywhere from two months to a year or later.”
“Two months? We’ve got another…nine weeks of this?”
“Seven weeks. And maybe our babies will be early.”
“They’re smaller than regular babies. Do you think that means that they’ll be earlier or later?”
“Probably later.”
“Wow. The idea of doing this for another seven weeks makes me want to…cry, I guess. That’s probably my biggest urge right now.”
She looked at him. He hadn’t shed a tear during the funeral. He looked sad, he looked grave, and he’d even looked concerned about her a few times. But there had been no crying.
She normally didn’t cry either. And she hadn’t cried during the funeral. She hadn’t even cried at the graveside, although she felt like it. It wasn’t as deserted as what she thought. There werethe workers, and several pallbearers had come along so they could carry the casket to the grave.
“Thank you for being there today. Thank you for your support and your care. I wasn’t expecting that, and it really touched me. This was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life before, and you were right there with me ready to give me anything I needed. I appreciate it.”
The words as they came out of her mouth were sincere, and she meant them with all of her heart.
He sat there, his eyes dark as his head leaned back on the edge of the couch, watching her. His smile was a little sad as he met her eyes, then he looked down.
“I’m glad I was there. I wouldn’t have wanted you to have done that by yourself. I…don’t want you to ever have to do anything by yourself. It’s always better if you have someone who loves you with you.”
There he went, talking about love again, and she wasn’t sure that she was ready for that. Not yet. But she did think that she was more ready now than she had been. Because after all, he’d shown her today that he meant what he was saying, that he would be there for her and support her. And he didn’t seem to act like he wanted to be somewhere else. So many times, she’d seen men who were bored or impatient or didn’t care to be where they were, and yet… Rodney seemed to just want to be wherever she was. And he was content as long as she was there.
That’s the way she felt about him. As long as he was there, she was happy. Would she have been happy in the business world?
She figured she probably would have been. She wouldn’t have wanted to sell her horses for it, but now they were gone, she wasn’t getting them back, and… Maybe there was more to life than horses anyway. Maybe she had put too much stock in her horses, and while they had been such great friends, they wereexpensive friends. They hadn’t really made any money for her. All they had been was a lot of work and a lot of expenses, and she had to get other jobs, just to buy their feed and pay for their care.
Of course, she hadn’t really known how to advertise her business either. And that was part of the problem. In order to advertise, one had to have money, and if one wasn’t good at advertising, one could lose a lot of money that they never got back.
She’d lost some and then been afraid to lose more.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his voice sounding tired yet curious.
She yelped out a laugh. “Isn’t that my question?”
“Men aren’t supposed to want to know what women are thinking, right?” he said, grinning sheepishly. “I really want to know.”
“All right. I was thinking about my horses.”
“You regret selling them?”
“Probably no more than you regret selling the part of the business you sold to Ford Hansen.”
“I don’t regret that at all.”
“All right. Maybe a little more than that. Because I don’t regret it, exactly. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. It’s not like I’m wishing I could go back and undo it.”
“I have things like that in my life. Things I wish I could go back and undo.”
“Well, me too, but not this. I’m confident I did the right thing. But… I am going to miss them.” She was quiet for a minute as Marley finished her bottle and turned her face to the side. Her eyes closed, and she looked like she had fallen asleep again. She couldn’t sleep yet. She hadn’t burped. So, Becky flipped her over and started patting her back.
