Page 45 of Beside the Rolling Waves
Would he be able to spend thirty minutes being sad about the turns his life had taken and then focus on the positive?
He knew that was a great business asset, to be able to pivot so quickly, and doing it within a matter of minutes would make one almost indestructible. But he doubted Becky would want to let go of her grief so quickly. Although, it would probably make Rita happy to see it happen.
“All right. We’ll see you in Raspberry Ridge at the church in two days,” the man said, shaking his hand and nodding at Becky, who held the baby, before he left.
Rodney walked over and locked the door after the man walked out.
He turned back around and saw that Becky had turned her back to him and was holding the baby with both arms, hunched over her, as though…was she crying?
“Becky?” he asked, walking softly across the carpeted floor and putting a hand on her back.
She straightened but didn’t move away from his touch, which he appreciated. Maybe she didn’t hate him, or maybe she just needed another human to share her grief right now.
“That was not what I ever thought I was going to be doing at this stage in my life,” she said softly.
“I don’t think anybody expects that. Not with her sister. Not at this age.”
“I just… I miss her. I see her shoes by the door. Her coat on the hook, her dishes in the cupboard. This whole apartment just is filled with her presence, and I’m holding her babies. But their mom is gone.”
“No. I know that’s hard.” He moved his hand from the middle of her back to her shoulder and pulled her close to him.
She turned, the baby between them.
He slipped down, putting his arm underneath hers and taking the baby from her. He was able to pull her close to him, against his chest, while holding the baby in his other arm.
He felt her arms wrap around him and her back shake silently with tears.
Becky, his fierce, loyal warrior, was crying.
That didn’t happen often, and he wished he had both hands around her.
Deciding that it wouldn’t hurt, even though the hospital staff had warned against it, he leaned over and carefully laid Marley on the couch.
She stretched without opening her eyes and then curled back up, continuing to sleep.
“Come here,” he said to Becky, folding her in his arms and tucking her head under his, and just letting her lean against him and cry. He figured that’s probably what she needed. That, or at least to know that someone cared, that someone was there for her, and that she wasn’t doing this by herself.
He was imperfect. Very, very imperfect. He had made a lot of mistakes, and he was sure in the future he would make a lot more. But he would be here for her. However she needed him, if she let him.
She cried for a while, and he let her. Even when she stopped, he didn’t move and just stroked her hair down her back, and laid his cheek on her head, and was content to just stand there. However long she needed to.
“Sorry,” she finally sniffled.
“Don’t be. I’m glad. Not that you’re crying, but that I could be here. You…need someone. This is an awful lot for one person to carry alone.”
“You lost her too. You have babies too. You’re taking this too. Why aren’t you crying?” She seemed to be angry now, which was how Becky sometimes handled things when she was younger. She’d outgrown that issue as she’d grown older, but he supposed with this trauma before her, she had reverted back to what she knew best.
“She wasn’t my sister. I loved her, but not like you did. Remember the whole reason that you and I met was because you couldn’t stand to be separated from her, and you ran away from your foster home, which wasn’t a very good home, and were living basically in the wide-open area around Raspberry Ridge, trying to feed yourself, so that you could see your sister once in a while.” He thought again of how fierce Becky was. How loyal. How deeply she loved. “No wonder it feels like your heart is being broken. She was…part of your heart.”
“Yeah. That’s right. That’s exactly how it feels. That part of my heart is missing.”
“And Rita loved you just as much. I was sure of it. Her concern that last night when we were eating was all about you and her babies.”
“I don’t know if I can raise them. This is all so new. I am surprised I haven’t dropped one yet.”
“Every parent feels like that the first few weeks. Everything is new. Then, you have another one, and it’s all old hat. Then you have a third one, and you wonder what you thought was so hard about it. Except sleep. I don’t think you ever get used to not getting any sleep.”
She laughed a little, as he had intended, and he moved his face and kissed the top of her head.
