Page 60 of The County Line
“Yeah, sorry, I just realized how early it is.”
“It’s alright. I’m up now. Going to go make myself a cup of coffee. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “Just... got that feeling, you know? Like somethin’ ain’t right.”
She’s silent for only a beat. “Did something happen last night?”
Where do I even start?I’m not sure how to answer what happened between Molly and me.
She continues, “You obviously called me for a reason so how about we start with where you are right now. What do you see around you?”
I blow out a breath. “I’m at my dad’s house. Spent the night here last night. I’m alone, standing outside, looking at the sunrise just peaking over the horizon.”
“Okay, and how does that make you feel?”
A shiver runs up my spine again, that same dreaded sense of something bad coming fills my blood. Whatever it is, I get the sense that once the sun crests, it’ll be here and there’s nothing that can stop it.
“I know I should feel peace, but I don’t. Something isn’t right.”
“Okay, was anything destroyed by the storm last night? You said you live on a large farm. Do you think it’s possible the animals might have been injured? Would you feel better if you go check on them now?”
“No.” I’m certain it’s not that. Regan, Cash, and I spent hours securing the chickens yesterday. The hens are safe, the barns locked tight, and there’s no way the property took any real damage. Cash built that place like a damn tank. I hesitate, considering whether I should take one of the four-wheelers down to check anyway, but my gut tells me this isn’t about the farm and my gut’s never been wrong before.
“Alright,” Liv says carefully. “What about the distillery? Could it be damaged?”
“It’s not that.”
“Okay... Then tell me why you’re at your father’s house instead of sleeping in your RV.”
She knows about the RV and the house I’m building. I’ve told her more than I thought I ever would during our most recent sessions. “I came here last night because of the storm. The wind was bad, and I didn’t want to risk the RV blowing over with me inside of it.”
“Could the RV be damaged?”
“Maybe,” I admit, though I know that’s not why I feel like tearing at my skin. Damage to the RV wouldn’t have me standing here with my fists clenching and my heart pounding like this. Material things can be replaced, people can’t be. “But that’s not it.”
“Does the idea of damage to the home you’re building bother you? You’ve been spending so much time and energy working on it.”
“No.” This doesn’t feel like something that can be fixed.
“Alright, let’s continue on then. You spent the night in your childhood bedroom. Is it possible that brought up old emotions and feelings around the years you lost?”
“I did sleep in my old bedroom.” I pause, my throat tightening. “With a woman.”
She’s silent for a beat, and then asks, “Molly?” Because I finally told her about Molly. Somehow, she got that out of me during my last session. And frankly, it was a relief talking about the feelings that I’d realized I’ve always had for her.
“Yeah. Molly.”
“Do you think that’s why you’re feeling like this? That maybe something happened between you two last night, and now your relationship is moving into territory that feels... overwhelming?”
Maybe. But it still doesn’t sit right.
I spin around, taking in the sight of the farmhouse from the back, bathed in the soft glow of the morning sun. My gaze drifts to my bedroom window that’s right next to the oak tree we used to climb down as kids. Molly’s still asleep up there. Protected under my care just like the tree’s protecting me now.
Am I scared of what’s happening between us? Of course. But it’s not because I don’t want it. It’s because I know what I can’t give her.
A proper relationship.
I can protect her, be there for her, give her trust and dependability. But I can’t leave the county limits. I can’t takeher wherever she wants to go or show her the world like she deserves. No fancy dates. No drinks over candlelight. I can’t even make love to her the way I want to, without second-guessing myself at every turn, worried I’ll disappoint her.
