Page 73 of Playing the Field
‘Come on, Crawford,’ I call out, as the second half gets off to a flying start with a quick attempt at goal from Craig. The ball clatters against the post and is hastily booted away by a Merribridge defender. Denied again.
Our fans bang their drums and sing their hearts out, but sadly no amount of encouragement seems able to power our boys onto the score sheet. I can almost taste their frustration when the final whistle blows, but Dad gathers everyone round and reminds them today is still something to be celebrated. We might have been held to a nil–nil draw, but that means Crawford United has its first ever league point– we’ve finally got a foot on the ladder.
‘All we need to do now is keep climbing,’ he tells them.
I suddenly wish Ben were here to share this moment. I feel like I’ve just watched my baby taking its first steps, but without its other parent there. At least I can show him some of the highlights on my phone when he gets here later.
I check the Millford City score and see their game also ended in a draw. It feels fated somehow, like our days are in sync with each other. He’ll be heading to the station soon and will text me his ETA once he knows which train he’s getting. I’ll hang out with the team at The Fox while I’m waiting, counting down the minutes till he arrives.
It’s another packed-out evening at the pub and the bar area is swamped.
‘My new staff haven’t quite got used to match days yet,’ Olly apologises.
I volunteer to jump behind the bar and help out until the initial rush dies down– partly so I can organise pints for the team and partly so I can thank some of the fans I’ll serve for their support– and Olly doesn’t complain. But with this, then getting caught up in conversations with both the players and the fans afterwards, it’s gone seven before I finally have a chance to look at my phone. Ben should be halfway to Hamcott by now, and from the three missed calls and two voice notes listed on my screen, I’m guessing he’s already bored of the journey and impatient to get here.
But when I head outside so I can hear them properly, my heart sinks as soon as I click on the first message. ‘Lily, it’s Ben. Give me a buzz back when you get this, will you?’
It’s not the sound of someone who’s about to deliver good news– his voice is loaded with stress.
‘No, no, no,’ I mutter, holding my breath as I start the second message.
‘It’s me again. I didn’t want to do this on VoiceNote but I can’t get hold of you and I don’t want to leave you hanging. I can’t come down tonight. I’m really sorry. We’ve been ordered to attend a special team meeting tomorrow morning after Millford’s mediocre result today and there’s no way I can get out of it. It’s the new coach they’ve brought in. He’s got some different ideas about what he thinks commitment should look like. I’m so, so sorry. I was really looking forward to this; I know you were too.
‘I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Next weekend we’re playing down in London so we can sort something out for then. Maybe you can come and join me in the hotel the night before the game? Give me a call back when you get this anyway and we’ll figure it out. I hope you’re not answering because you’re busy celebrating Crawford’s first point. I’m made up for you guys and so bummed I’m not there. I miss you. Call me. I’ll speak to you later.’
I slump back against the wall, eyes closed, the high I’ve been on all day evaporating like a puff of smoke. I’ve been building up to seeing him all week, living for it really, and now there’s at least six more days before there’s even the possibility of being with him again.
I slam my palm against the bricks in exasperation. I can’t believe this new coach has spoilt our plans. Who holds a team meeting on a Sunday? And what does it mean going forward? Is he going to spring meetings on them at short notice like this every weekend?
For a moment I’m tempted to jump on a train up to Millford. If I left now I’d just make the last one. But it would be close to midnight by the time I got there, and if Ben’s busy tomorrow anyway...
I rage against the unfairness of it all. I was so looking forward to having him back. It was going to be the cherry on the cake after what I’d hoped would be a brilliant day. A tear trickles down my cheek as my body aches with the disappointment. I don’t brush it away. I need a few moments to wallow before I go back inside wearing my best poker face.
But before I’ve got a grip on my emotions, Bailey walks out into the garden, looking all around him as he pulls out a vape. He freezes when he sees me. ‘Lily!’ It’s hastily stuffed back into his pocket as he comes closer. ‘Are you okay?’
He sounds so much like his brother it threatens to set me off all over again.
‘I’m fine,’ I tell him.
‘You’re clearly not,’ he says gently. ‘Is it Ben?’
I nod. ‘I miss him. I wish he was still here.’
‘It must be tricky, especially with the Georgina thing.’
Of all people, I’m not sure it’s Ben’s brother I should vent about it to, but it all comes spilling out anyway. ‘I hate it. I hate that she’s the one who’s getting to spend time with him and I hate that everyone believes they’re genuinely together. It makes me angry because it feels like I’m the one being punished for Ben’s behaviour. I wish I could just turn the clock back and make that incident with the fan go away.’
‘Don’t we all.’ Bailey sighs. ‘But if it’s any consolation, I know he’s just trying to make the best of a bad situation. He’s under pressure to play the PR game, but he’d much rather be with you than with Georgina. He’s actually pretty miserable that the two of you can’t spend as much time together.’
‘Thank you, Bailey.’ It’s what I needed to hear. ‘And I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be offloading my frustration on you.’
He waves my apology away. ‘Sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. But honestly, it’ll work itself out in the end. You guys are so perfect for each other.’
I inhale deeply, feeling calmer, then switch back into work mode, pointing at the vape poking out of his pocket. ‘Meanwhile, you know we’re going to have to talk about that.’
‘I don’t use it often. I’ve just been a bit stressed lately.’
‘Anything you want to share with me?’
