Page 9 of The Dance Deception
‘Great,’ I tell her, hoping they don’t notice me blushing. ‘I’m learning new things every day.’
And I don’t just mean how to have the best orgasms of my life. It turns out getting intimate with Merle did wonders for my dancing. All my inhibitions went out of the window after being so open with him, so the stiffness I struggled with on the previous two days completely vanished for the rest of the rehearsal. I can only hope it won’t be back tomorrow.
‘That’s good,’ Mum says. ‘So are you feeling confident about the live show on Saturday? We do feel terrible that we’re not going to be there.’
Every summer my parents go to France for the holidays.They’re both teachers, so it’s the only opportunity they get to spend a reasonable chunk of time with Dee and the grandkids. They did offer to cancel when I told them aboutFire on the Dance Floor, but I wouldn’t let them. I know how much they love their summers there and they can see me any time. It hasn’t stopped them feeling guilty, though.
‘You don’t have to worry, Mum. I’m in good hands with Merle. He’s a professional, so he knows how to make me look good. And Lucy will be there to support me on the night – and Rach from school.’
Each contestant is allowed two guests for the live shows so I’ve invited my best friend and my oldest friend.
‘Well, we’ll be cheering you on remotely,’ Mum says. ‘And I’m glad you’re getting on so well with your teacher. Have you been socialising together, too?’
‘Not yet.’ Not in the way she means, at any rate. ‘But I’m sure we’ll do something on Saturday night after the show.’
I would have postponed tonight’s Skype chat if Merle had been up for sharing a bottle of rosé in a sunny beer garden, but he’d had another appointment to get to. At least he told me before I asked this time, though, so while I was disappointed after everything that had happened earlier, I didn’t feel rejected.
‘That’ll be nice,’ Mum says.
‘And how are the old nerves holding up?’ Dad asks.
‘Hm, so-so.’
Before I left the studio this evening, Merle reminded me that a camera crew will be joining us tomorrow to film us rehearsing. The footage they capture will be editeddown into a three-minute segment that will be played on the live show.
‘So we’ll have to be on our best behaviour,’ he warned.
It made me realise I’ve been in complete denial about the fact that there’s going to be an actual show at the end of all our practices. There weren’t any cameras during the pre-show training, so it was easy to pretend I was just doing a few Zumba classes with my mates. And what I got up to with Merle this morning hardly felt like something that’s going to be watched by thousands of people. But with the video team coming to our studio tomorrow, it suddenly feels a bit more real.
‘You’re bound to feel a bit anxious,’ Dad says. ‘But hopefully Merle can find a way to help you relax.’
My cheeks start burning again when I think about the way he’s found. Thankfully, my niece and nephew choose that exact moment to squeeze in front of the screen to say hello to their Auntie Katie, so I don’t have to respond to Dad.
‘Hi Nathan! Hi Daisy!’ I give them a wave. Then the conversation gets chaotic as the kids run in and out of the room, wanting to show me their latest drawings and the cupcakes they made earlier.
‘Hi Kate!’ Dee’s husband Pete sticks his face in front of the camera. ‘Just clearing up in the kitchen. I’ll join you in a minute.’
He disappears again and is replaced by a big hairy nose as their dog decides to give the screen a good sniff to see what all the fuss is about.
‘Ah, I wish I was there,’ I sigh, suddenly missing the craziness of a full household.
‘Come over as soon as you’ve finished with the show,’ Dee says. ‘The kids would love to see you. We all would.’
‘I will,’ I promise.
We chat for another hour until it’s time for her to get Nathan and Daisy to bed. Mum signs off by sending me a virtual hug, telling me how proud she is of me and making me promise I’ll keep her updated on my progress.
‘And good luck for Saturday. We’ll all be rooting for you.’
I switch off my laptop, feeling bathed in a warm family glow. But as soon as I climb into bed, my thoughts drift back to Merle and the show and the day of filming that lies ahead. I usually try to avoid being filmed – it tends to result in cringey videos like the New Year’s Eve one that became my audition tape. And that was only a minute long. My stomach churns at the thought of having a camera on me for hours.
I wonder if I’ll get any alone time with Merle afterwards. When I think back to this morning, I can almost feel his hands on my body, touching my breasts, caressing my bum. I picture him going down on me and start feeling aroused. I wish he was here now.
I roll over and bury my face in my pillow, trying to clear my mind so I’ll be able to sleep, but I can’t stop thinking about it: his tongue between my legs, my body juddering until I can take no more. I reach for the vibrator in my bedside cabinet, wondering what has come over me.
The intoxicating tingling quickly builds up as I picture us back in the studio. He comes towards me, lifts me up and wraps my legs around his back.
‘I need to be inside you,’ he whispers, resting my backagainst the wall. Then he pushes up into me, making my whole body feel alive.
