Page 74 of A Kiss to Stop a Wedding
His bleak tone caught at her heart.
‘You should rest now, Matt.’
‘Will you come and join me?’
That teasing note was back in his voice, but she shook her head.
‘You know I must get back.’
‘Yes, you must.’
His sigh was even harder to resist, but Flora resolutely turned away and began to dress. When it came to her stays, she was obliged to ask for his help again. She walked over and stood with her back to him while he tightened the laces.
‘What did you mean?’ she asked him. ‘About not believing in prayers and miracles?’
‘They are lies, peddled by the church, which tells you to have faith and all will be well.’ He sounded so bitter that she looked at him with concern.
‘Is this about your experience in the army?’
‘In part. But it goes back a long way before that. My mother was a pious woman and little good it did her!’
‘Will you tell me?’
‘It is not an edifying story.’
He had somehow managed to fasten the stays, butinstead of pulling on her skirts she sat down on the bed beside him and took his hand.
‘But it is about you,’ she said softly. ‘And I should like to know as much as I can about you.’
Before it is too late,she added silently, knowing they would soon say goodbye for ever.
For a while she thought he would say no more. Then she heard him sigh.
‘My parents were both God-fearing people and they dragged me to church every Sunday and holiday. But despite his faith, my father was a gambler. He ran up huge gaming debts, although my mother and I knew nothing of it until he blew his brains out.’
‘Oh, Matt!’
‘Our priest was reluctant to bury him, even though the magistrate decreed it was not suicide. The fact that my parents had rarely missed a Sunday service since they were married counted for nought.’
He fell silent and Flora waited, clasping his hand between both of hers, and at last he continued.
‘We persevered and with the support of the squire my father was finally buried in the local churchyard. But his debts left us all but destitute. It was too much for my mother, she joined him in the ground a few months later.’
She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, imagining the horror of those dark times. ‘I am so sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I took the King’s shilling and have not done too badly for myself.’
‘But it still hurts you and I am sorry for that.’
‘Yes, it still hurts.’
Flora sat with him as long as she dared, trying to comfort him with her presence, but at length she knew she must leave. Giving his hand a final squeeze, she went off to finish dressing in what was left of the twilight. She was fastening her skirts when he spoke again.
‘I haven’t told anyone about my father, other than you and Conham.’
‘I shall not divulge it to another soul, Matt, I promise you.’
‘No, no, that’s not why I mentioned it. I mean I feel better for talking about it.’
