Page 80 of A Series of Rooms
It was Liam’s turn for silence. He picked up a discarded straw wrapper that the busboy left behind and began picking it into tiny pieces.
“Liam—”
“I’m not...ignoring you,” he said. “I guess I don’t know where to begin either.”
It suddenly occurred to him that maybe Ben had reached out to his mother, or to Nathan himself, for answers. And while he doubted Ben would have gotten a straight answer from either of them, it would have been nice to know where he stood.
“How much do you know?” he asked.
“Only that Nathanshowed up at Christmas dinner looking like that, and not twenty minutes later you’re flipping tables and throwing punches. I’m assuming there might be some correlation there, but—” he tossed up his hands, “—please, feel free to fill the gaps for me.”
Liam let out a long, slow breath, flattening his palms on the table.
“I assume you recall my birthday,” he said, carefully measuring his words. “And the unwelcome idea of agiftyou both chipped in on.”
Recognition flickered in Ben’s expression just before it was replaced by something like discomfort. He shifted in his seat, the sticky vinyl creaking beneath his weight. “It was Nathan’s idea,” he said.
“Yeah, that’s not...Look, I’ve been seeing him,” Liam blurted, probably a little too loudly. He shrank down into his seat. “Sort of,” he amended softly.
Ben’s eyes widened. “What? Really?”
Under the table, Liam’s hands curled into fists. He opened his mouth, and then a thought occurred to him: in telling this part of the story and exposing Nathan for the monster that he was, Liam would also be outing him. Out of everyone in their immediate circle of friends and family, Liam was confident no one suspected it. Surely exposing Nathan would come to a shock to everyone, and definitely to Ben.
Then he remembered what Jonah had said to him at the hospital, about how he couldn’t bring himself to press charges against Nathan for what he had done. How Jonah was forced to choose between his own mental well-being and a shot at seeking even a sliver of justice. Suddenly Liam’s moral ambiguity didn’t feel quite so hazy. The rage cut straight through the mist and made him see that he wasn’t outing Nathan as a gay man, he was outing him as a predator.
“Nathan hurt him,” Liam said simply. He heard the gravel in his own voice and willed himself not to start crying here. Not now. “He saw us out together a few weeks ago. He probably suspected something was going on, and that’s what he was goading me about at dinner, but...” He swallowed back his disgust. “The point is, he tried to take advantage when Jonah was in a vulnerable position.”
Ben was quiet for a long time. Liam wasn’t looking at him, but for an anxious moment he thought maybe he had lost him. Like maybe he was going to side with Nathan after all, or tell Liam he was lying, or maybe blame him for keeping such close proximity to a dangerous situation. But to his surprise, Ben sat forward, placing a heavy hand on Liam’s forearm.
“Liam,” he said. “I didn’t know.”
“I know that,” Liam muttered, treading carefully around the rare display of emotion.
“Is your friend...Or your, um,” Ben seemed to struggle a bit with the verbiage, “Boyfriend or whatever? Is he alright?”
Liam had to press his knuckles against his leg for a few seconds.
“Bit of a loaded question,” he said. “But he’s safe now. He got out of the situation he was in.”
“That’s good.” Ben nodded.
And it was. Itwasgood. Liam’s world might have been temporarily reduced to picking up the pieces of himself that broke along the way of seeing Jonah off, but it was agood thingthat he was home now. He had to believe that.
“I’m sorry, Liam.”
“You said.”
“No.” Ben shook his head, frustration peeking through his expression. “I mean, I think the apology I owe you probably goes a lot further back than all this. I haven’t been a good friend to you. A good friend never would have set you up for something like that on your birthday when I knew youweren’t comfortable with it. It’s none of my business if you wanted to like... be a virgin ‘til marriage or whatever.”
Well, this was quickly going off the rails.
“Benjamin.”
“Sorry,” he said, and it sounded like he actually meant it. “For real, though. You’ve always been a good friend to me, and I should have been better at showing that I care about you, too.”
Before Liam could fully lose his cool in the face of that unexpected emotional onslaught, the kitchen window bell rang—repeatedly, loudly, and pointedly.
Liam sighed. “I gotta get back before I am well and truly fired,” he said, sliding out of the booth and onto his feet. “Look, I appreciate you checking in after... everything. Coffee’s on the house.”
