Page 2 of Foul Territory
“You don’t need to be scared. I’ll be there with you,” he says, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together. I staredumbfounded at our hands as the hair on my arm begins to stand on end.
After the ceremony when we were taking photos, Nash asked him and Hart to keep an eye on me next year while we’re at Newhouse. I acted annoyed but I’m grateful I’ll have an excuse to keep Koa close to me. I was afraid I would lose him to baseball and other girls.But he’s holding your hand now.
“You’re not nervous?” I ask, my eyes dart from him and back to our hands. His thumb is making slow swipes back and forth over my skin like a metronome.
“No. I’m not nervous about going off to school.” He squeezes my hand breaking the trance I was under watching his thumb move over my skin.
“What are you nervous about?” I ask.
He readjusts his position, bringing himself closer to the middle of the bed.Closer to me. “You looked really beautiful today. I like this dress.A lot.” He lets go of my hand and allows his fingers to skim the top of my thigh just under the hem of my dress.
Instinctively my eyes close as I savor the feel of his hand against my skin as it breakouts in tiny goosebumps. “You’re not answering my question,” I say, finding it hard to speak as he continues to toy with the hem of my dress.
His eyes travel up my body and latch onto mine. “I’m nervous about what you’d do if you knew how much I wanted to kiss you rightnow.”
My eyes widen and I think I stop breathing for a moment. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to hear those words, or something similar, leave his mouth.
He’s always been the boy that I wanted but could never have. I think he knew I liked him because by the end of seventh grade I was firmly put in the friend zone. He told me once that keeping everything platonic would be for the best. I wanted to ask for who? It didn’t feel like what would be the best for me. But I already knew the answer. It’s what was best for his friendship with Nash.
He didn’t want anything to change, except it already had for me.
I was in love with him. I knew the moment he said“we should stay friends”I would be spending the rest of my life figuring out how to stop loving him. Is it too soon to start believing maybe now I won’t have to know what it feels like to live a life loving him without him loving me back?
Hearing him say he wants to kiss me makes breathing difficult and my skin flush. It makes butterflies dance in my belly and my heart soar.
He places a hand on my back, encouraging me to move toward him. I drape an arm over his and clutch the top of his shoulder.
“I guess my reaction would depend on how much your much is,” I say, grinning. “If your much is only this much.” I raise my hand and hold out my thumb and pointer finger with an inch of distance between them. “I wouldn’t be very interested. How much do you want to kiss me?”
“There isn’t a unit of measurement large enough to adequately explain how much I want to kiss you at the moment.” He palms the back of my head, pulling me until I’m a breath away.
“Then you better do it,” I whisper against his lips. He closes the distance between us and fireworks erupt behind my eyes. Having his body pressed against mine lights up every nerve ending in my body.
The kiss is clumsy as if it’s the first time he’s kissed a girl before. But I know that can’t be true. I’ve seen him hanging around other girls at school. I’m not the only person who’s been crushing on Koa Mahina.
I wrap a hand around the side of his neck and slow the movement of my lips as they brush against his. I’m not ready for the kiss to end. If anything, I want to encourage him to do more. He dips his tongue into my mouth and swirls it around mine.
He shifts his weight and pushes me flat against the mattress. We both moan when he settles between my legs. The skirt of my dress shifts up and all that separates him from my body is a tiny thong.
His lips float down my neck and across my chest. “You are trouble,” he says in between kisses. “Have been since the day I met you.”
I grab his face and pull him back to my lips. I don’t want to stop kissing the boy who makes me smile and laugh. The boy who’s been one of my closest friends. Keeping our relationshipplatonic wasn’t what I wanted but it was fine because he was still with me.
And now he’s here holding me in his arms and kissing me like he needs them for survival.
I will never forget the way his lips feel against mine or the way his hand caresses up the side of my thigh and between my legs.
I will never forget the tender way he’s looking at me or how shyly he asks if I’m sure I want him to be my first.
I will never forget the way he took care of me after and how he held me until I fell asleep. I will never forget the way it feels to make love to Koa Mahina.
I will never forget waking up knowing he was my forever.
But had I known the feeling wouldn’t have lasted until lunch, I would have held him tighter and never let him leave my room before the sun came up.
Because now all I have is the memory of me standing in the hallway completely helpless while he broke my heart with one word.
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