Page 70 of Scout
“Scout?” Juniper says suddenly, voice quieter now.
“Yeah?”
“You’re doing good.”
I look over at her. She’s not even looking at me, just unwrapping the last bite of her sandwich. But I know she means it. And somehow, it almost wrecks me more than anything else has so far.
“Thanks, kid,” I say, blinking fast. “Means a lot.”
Kendrix clears his throat. “How’s the sandwich?”
I nod, chewing. “Hits the spot.”
Juniper grins, sipping her Dr. Pepper like it’s holy. “Told you. Nothing beats Subway when it’s fresh.”
Xavier leans against the counter, arms crossed. His voice is careful when he speaks. “We’re not trying to overstep, but… we’re here, if you need anything. Even just to sit.”
I pause mid-chew, swallowing slowly. “Thanks.”
Kendrix studies me for a beat. “You know we’re not going anywhere, right?”
I don’t answer that. Just take another bite and look down at the wrapper in my lap. The truth is, I don’t know what I believe anymore. People say shit all the time. Doesn’t make it true. Plus, I heard their confessions on the deck.
Juniper hums softly between sips. “So… can I have one of the cookies now?”
I arch a brow. “How do you know I even got cookies? You didn’t order one.”
She grins, unapologetic. “You always get two cheesecake cookies. One for me and one for you.”
I reach into the bag and pass her a cookie. She tears into it as if she hasn’t eaten in days. For a second, things almost feel normal.
Almost.
“I’m glad you’re both here,” I say, quietly. And maybe that’s a lie. Maybegladisn’t the right word. Maybeconflicted as hellis closer. But it’s something.
Xavier looks up, surprised I even said anything.
“I don’t know what any of this is gonna look like,” I go on, picking at the edge of my napkin. “There’s paperwork. Lawyers. Social workers. Meetings and forms and a whole life I have to rebuild around her. Around us. I’ve got to be everything now.”
“You don’t have to do it alone,” Kendrix says softly.
I shake my head almost instantly. “That’s kind of the thing, though, isn’t it? I do. She’s mine now. I’m the one who signs theforms. I’m the one who makes the meals and shows up and holds it all together. No one else.”
Juniper shifts on the bed, her arm brushing mine where I sit in the chair beside her. I feel her listening.
Kendrix leans forward, elbows on his knees. “We get it. But just because it’s yours to carry doesn’t mean no one wants to help lighten the load. We’re here if you need anything. Even just… a break.”
I exhale through my nose, nodding once. I don’t trust myself to say more.
Because yeah, part of me wants to believe that. That they mean it. That they won’t disappear the minute Junie Boo and I walk out those hospital doors. But I’ve learned better. We had a thing. Whatever it was. And it ended the second they realized they had something stronger with each other.
And I’m trying really fucking hard to be okay with that. To be happy for them.
But me and Juniper? We’re not their problem when we leave here. Not anymore. And maybe that’s how it should be.
26
Scout
