Page 114 of Middle Ground
Turning in her direction, I watch Ilsa pick her way through the crowd of people still setting up. Her hair is thrown into a messy bun, and bits of flower stems are caught in it.
“Hey,” I say. “You have something in your hair.”
She laughs as I pick out the pieces for her. “This morning has been a little chaotic.”
After the shock of the revelations wore off, I went to see Ilsa armed with a list of questions. It was hard to even know where to begin, but I needed answers. I think Ilsa needed to give them to me, too. She had been holding on to them for so long.
Felix hadn’t known she was pregnant. She had managed to keep it a secret until his family moved him away, and bythen, she was too afraid to tell anyone. When she had finally given birth to me as a terrified sixteen-year-old, she hadn’t known what to do. She ended up leaving me at the fire station, and that’s when Mom found me.
I came away from that conversation with a lot of mixed emotions. Jackson stayed up with me all night as I talked everything through, and he held me when I couldn’t fight the urge to cry anymore. The tears were for me, for Ilsa, for growing up with her so near, yet never having the chance to truly know her.
But it wasn’t long before I decided that I want her in my life. She’s always been there, really, but now things feel different. The truth makes everything feel different.
“Thank you for doing all this,” I say. “The flowers look beautiful.”
A bright smile lights up her face. “Thank you for recommending me to the bride and groom. I’m glad I was able to help make their day special.”
I glance at my phone, noting the time. “Speaking of, I should probably go check on the food. I’ll see you later!”
“Meyer, wait.”
I spin around, facing her again. “Yeah?”
Ilsa wrings her hands together. “For what it’s worth, I am…immensely proud of the woman you’ve come to be. Watching you grow, even from afar, has been a joy and a privilege.”
I blink back the tears threatening to fall. Between her and Jackson, I’m surprised my makeup has survived at all today.
“That means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
I close the space between us and throw my arms around her, sinking into her embrace. She holds me just as fiercely, and the remaining nerves I have about today simply melt away.
At the end of the night, Jackson and I both practically collapse on my bed.
Since everything that happened with Felix, we’ve been tiptoeing around talking about us. Our future. I know Jackson loves me, and I love him, but I need to know what thatmeans. Now that the wedding is out of the way, I can’t hold myself back from asking.
“Jackson,” I say into the quiet.
My bedroom is dark, save for the moonlight filtering through the curtains we forgot to close. We’ll probably regret it in the morning, but I know neither one of us is willing to get out of bed to fix it.
“Yeah, baby?”
I turn on my side to face him. “When do you go back to the city?” I ask, tentative.
“My leave is up at the end of September,” he replies.
My heart sinks. “Oh.”
That doesn’t give us much time at all. A couple weeks, at best, since he’ll likely want to return early to get settled back into his condo. The thought of it makes me sad. Toronto is only a few hours away, so it isn’t as if we can’t make it work, but not having himherefeels wrong.
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then, “Ask me to stay.”
My breath catches. “What?”
“Ask me to stay, Meyer, and I will. I’ll quit my job and sell my condo, and I won’t look back.” He cups my cheek. “But you have to ask. I have to know you want this as much as I do.”
I don’t hesitate.
“Yes. Stay. Please, stay.”
