Page 59 of Kneeling for Them
“I hate to do this now,” Trina says, reaching into her giant purse, “but I have some paperwork here.I’d like you to sign it, if you’re still interested in working with me.”
She thrusts a packet toward me.I take it automatically, my fingers closing over thick paper.
“I wouldn’t ask in a rush, but I’m heading back to New York tonight,” she says.“And from there, to Nashville.I’m going to be on the road a lot, but I’d love for us to formalize an arrangement.”
I scan the words in front of me, most of them blurry through my teary eyes.
Trina hands me a pen.
This was always out of reach, even in my wildest dreams.Get an agent?Get a deal with a reputable recording studio?I only really cared about the music, and now I have a path laid out before me where everything can be handed to me while I focus on the music and someone else does the business.
Trina nods in encouragement.
I hold the pen above the signature line.
Fourteen
Ella
Pen held tight in my fist, I pause.
I haven’t read this contract.I don’t know what I’m signing.
Unbidden, a memory flits into my head.A year and a half ago, I helped Dad sell his car.He wasn’t driving anymore because his treatments were making him too tired, and we needed some money to pay off a few bills.
That early, we’d been scrambling for cash.
We took the car to a dealership and they accepted it.Within minutes, they wrote up the paperwork for us.
I was crying while trying to read the documents.Not because of the stupid car, but because I’d been so strong for such a long time, and I’d forced myself to believe Dad would get better.On that day, I’d finally admitted to myself that we were just prolonging the inevitable, and trying to get as much time together as we could.
My dad did that for me and Tommy—he went through treatments that made him feel horrible all the time, just so he could spend more time with us.No judgment to people who make different decisions, but I will forever be grateful to my dad for that.
The guy in the dealership looked totally disgusted with my tears, so Dad sent him out of the room for a minute.
Dad took my hands in his and said, “You’re emotional.Either you calm down before signing these papers with me, or we don’t sell the car today.We can come back tomorrow.”
“They might not take it tomorrow,” I said.
“Then they don’t.”His blue eyes were clear as he stared into mine.“It’s better to leave the deal and walk away than sign anything when you’re emotional.”
It hadn’t seemed like an Important Life Lesson at the time, but as the words on Trina’s contract swirl before my eyes, the weight of it hits me.
I can’t sign this.I’m too emotional.A metaphorical bomb about my boyfriend has just been dropped in my lap.
“I’m really sorry,” I tell Trina, smiling through my tears.“I need some time to think on this.”
“I don’t have time,” she says, her deep purple lipstick frowning at me.“I’m leaving now…I should’ve hopped in a car to the airport half an hour ago.Please just sign it, and we can hash out the details later.”
Everything about this situation would be easier if I signed.Trina would go away and I could process the revelation about Sebastian without her hovering.I would cross a threshold bringing me closer to musical wishes I never even dared to have.
But I don’t like the pressure.I don’t like the tears that I’m desperately trying to keep from falling.I don’t like that one of my dad’s last pieces of advice was to not fall for this sort of thing, yet here I am, tempted to do it anyway.
With a weak smile, I hand the contract back to Trina.“I’m sorry.I’m just not in the right frame of mind to do this.”
“Seriously?”Her mouth falls open in shock.“You’re not in the right frame of mind to sign with an agent who can help you realize your music dreams?”
“I can’t right now,” I say.
