Page 3 of If the Stars Align
Hot tears sting my eyes. I cover my mouth so Dex can’t hear me sob.
I race down the steps and take a moment to collect myself. My hands go to my back pockets, and my first instinct is to takemy love letter and rip it to shreds.
But I can’t.
So I reach for my UCLA acceptance instead. I tear it to pieces and shove it back in my jeans so no one finds it.
Looks like I’ll be going to Northwestern after all.
I hear Jenna giggle again from up the stairs and take a few seconds to wipe my cheeks before opening the door to the hall. I have a choice to make, and I need to make it quickly. I can either accept the fact that I quite possibly just lost the love of my life to the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen…
Or I can do what I always do when Dex starts dating someone new—pretend it isn’t happening. Because until he tells me himself that he’s in a real relationship, I can choose to believe it’s nothing serious.
I take a deep breath and step into the hall. Almost everyone is back in the auditorium now, and as I hurriedly make my way there, I spot my mom walking toward me.
“You okay, sweetheart? The second half of the show is about to start.”
“I’m fine,” I say as convincingly as I can. “The mac and cheese just isn’t sitting well.”
“I’m sure I have some antacids in my purse,” my mom offers. “Or do you want to go home, instead?”
“No, I’ll be alright. I want to see the rest of the show.”
“Oh, good. Because I have to say…Dex’s portrayal of Romeo is probably one of the best I’ve seen,” my mom admits, her eyebrows raised like she can’t believe she’s saying it herself.
I can’t help but smile. Although she hasn’t come out and saidit, ever since Dex and I started high school, I’ve been getting the sense that she isn’t his biggest fan, despite his charm. So hearing her acknowledge how talented he is feels validating. “Isn’t he incredible?” I say as we walk back into the auditorium together.
“I bet that boy’s going to be famous one day,” my mom says as we take our seats. She squeezes my knee. “And you can say you knew him when.”
The lights go down just in time to hide my tears as they begin to fall again.
The doorbell rings at 8:00 p.m. Normally I’d fly down the stairs to meet Dex, but tonight is different. My heart is heavy and my gaze wistful as I stand in the doorway of the room I grew up in, no longer familiar and cozy, but foreign territory. The walls are bare. My things are in boxes. My suitcases are packed. Summer flew by, which is always the case. And I’ll be leaving for Northwestern in two days.
I got it in my head that I wanted to go there when I was eleven. I was telling ghost stories with the Dexters around their firepit one chilly autumn evening, and Mr. Dexter lent me his NU Law sweatshirt. He’s an attorney with a successful solo practice doing immigration law. Later that night, he squeezed my shoulder and said, “That sweatshirt looks great on you, darling! I think we’ve got a future Wildcat here!”
That’s when I decided to follow in his footsteps. But five years later, one of my mom’s patients gave her a copy of Nicholas Sparks’The Notebook, and everything changed. My mom’sjaded heart can’t handle romance, so she tossed the book onto her Goodwill donation pile. Bored and curious, I rescued it. I stayed up the entire night reading it cover to cover, and from that day on, I was hooked.
The more love stories I read, the more I feel the urge to write my own. What could be better than crafting a tale about two imperfect people who are perfect for each other? I posed that very question in one of the personal essays I wrote for UCLA. I wasn’t sure if being honest about my romance writing dreams on a college application was clever or risky, but either way, it worked. And when Dex received his acceptance letter too, it felt like fate.
Everything would have fallen into place, if only he hadn’t been kissing Jenna backstage. I would have given him my love letter, and we’d both be going to Los Angeles, where I’d be writing our happily ever after.
But instead, tonight is our last night together.
Every step I take is leaden as I make my way downstairs to answer the door.
“Hey, you,” he says, wrapping his arms around me when I step out onto the porch.
“Hi,” I say on a long exhale, my cheek resting on his shoulder. If I could freeze one moment in time, it would be this. I never, ever, want to let go of him.
“What do you wanna do tonight?” he asks when we finally pull away from each other.
I sigh. “Can we pretend it’s like any other night…and just drive?”
Dex gives me a half-smile. “Yeah,” he says, nodding slowly. “Ilike that plan.”
He’s sad—I can tell. I’d like to think he’s sad about leaving me but, honestly, he could be sad about saying goodbye to Jenna, for all I know. After she kissed him on the opening night ofRomeo and Juliet, for the rest of the school year, I had to listen to her gush about him to her friends in the locker room every morning before PE. But school’s been out for a couple of months, and I have no idea if they’re still together.
I tend not to ask questions when I don’t think I’ll like the answers.
