Page 5 of If the Stars Align
Mr. Dexter is the closest thing to a dad I’ve ever had. My mom spent years in an on-again, off-again relationship that turned off permanently when she found out she was pregnant with me. I used to ask her questions about my biological father when I was a kid, but she downright refused to talk about him. After a while, I just stopped asking. I guess the fact that he chose not to be involved is all I really need to know.
I try my best not to cry. “I just hope your parents know how grateful I am. And how important they are to me.”
“Of course they know,” Dex replies. “Believe me, they feel the same way about you.” And because he anticipates that I’ll shrug it off, he adds with emphasis, “It’s true,” just as I begin to dismissively shake my head.
I laugh. “You know me so well. And…thank you.”
“Anytime.” Dex’s grin turns wistful as he takes his gaze up to the velvety night sky and sighs. “I can’t believe this is it. Our last night together in Beachwood. For now.”
I sigh. “I know. It’s gonna be weird, being so far away.”
Dex shakes his head. “I’m kicking myself for not applying to Northwestern.” He winks at me, which makes me think he’s kidding…but I’m not entirely sure. Then he looks down at his lap. “It’ll be okay. We’ll talk every day, and we’ll see each other over breaks. And before we know it, it’ll be summer again.”
“Do you promise?” I ask, my words emerging as a near-whisper. “That we’ll talk every day?”
Dex holds out his hand. “Pinky swear.”
We hook our fingers and swing back and forth together.
“Will you promisemesomething?” he asks after a minute of silence. “Don’t stop writing. I know you want to go to law school, but there’s nothing stopping you from being a lawyer who writes romance novels.”
I laugh. “All I write are poems. Writing a novel is a pipe dream, Dex.” I pull my pinky away from his.
“Not for you, Sunny. You have the talent and the passion to make it happen. I just don’t want you to give up on your dream.”
“Okay,” is all I say. He has no idea I gave upallmy dreams when I declined my offer from UCLA.
“Good,” he says, though he seems dissatisfied. He knows me better than to believe me.
“Dex…I’m scared,” I say so quietly I wonder if he can hear me.
He looks at me, his eyebrows knit together. “Scared of what?”
I bite my lower lip. “What if I don’t make friends at school?”
Dex scoffs. “Are you kidding me? Everyone loves you.”
I roll my eyes, but mostly to keep more tears from falling. “I think it’syouthey love. And they’re only friends with me…by association.”
Dex digs his shoes into the woodchips to stop his swing and gently grabs hold of my chain, turning me toward him. “Sunny, you don’t really think that, do you?”
I don’t know what to think. It’s not always easy being the leading man’s sidekick.
It’s not that people don’t like me—quite the contrary. Pretty much everyone likes me, because I’m nice, and quiet, and unassuming. But does anyone reallywantto be the nice, quiet, unassuming girl? Not me. I don’t necessarily crave being the center of attention either—but maybe somewhere in between.I attempt a deep breath, but my chest only tightens. “It’s just a fear of mine, I guess.”
Dex looks crestfallen. “It kills me that you don’t know how amazing you are.”
The intensity of his gaze causes my heart to beat so quickly that I have to turn away. When I do, he lets go of my chain, and I start swinging slowly again.
“You are so smart, and thoughtful, and generous, and kind. You’re going to have more friends at Northwestern than you’ll know what to do with,” he continues. “They’ll be lining up—taking numbers—to hang out with you.” I chuckle as Dex looks down at his lap pensively and his half-smile goes flat. “Not to mention, the guys…”
I snort. “Theguys? Dex, in case you haven’t noticed, there arezeroguys lining up to date me.”
Which is why I ended up going to prom with a group of my girlfriends—while Dex went with Jenna. I know he’s only trying to be nice, but I can’t help but feel ashamed of my non-existent love life. I want to get asked out on dates. To get noticed by boys. Well,oneboy, in particular. But mostly, I feel invisible.
There was one time I thought my luck might change. It was at Laura Levine’s bat mitzvah party,afterAsher Abadie had outed me. I was at the refreshment table, feeding my misery with Cheez Balls, when the DJ announced the final song—“Save the Best for Last,” by Vanessa Williams. I made a beeline for the door to spare myself the heartache of having to watch Dex dance with yet another girl. That’s when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. It was him.
I tried to play it cool, but my heart threatened to leap from my chest. Dex had saved his last dance forme. Just like the song, he’d “Saved the Best for Last.” I laid my head on his shoulder as we swayed from side to side. From across the room, an amused Asher winked at me, then smiled as he shook his head.
