Page 101 of Break the Barrier
I flinch, the words hitting their mark perfectly. “What?” My voice comes out low and quiet, the hurt in my tone clear.
He looks remorseful for a second, but then his eyes stray down to the bag beside me, and his anger comes back in full force. “You’re being a coward, Thea. You’re running away from something great because of your fear.”
“That’s no—” I cut myself off. There’s no reason to tell him otherwise.
You want him to not want you, Thea.
“Maybe I am,” I agree with a careless shrug of my shoulders.
“You sure as hell are acting like it,” Logan says so fast that I wonder if he’s actually thought about this before.
But no. I know him. He’s reacting, not acting out based on things he’s thought before.
He’s protecting himself, just as I’m trying to protect him.
I nod my head, unable to really say more without giving myself away and reach down to grab my bag.
“Tell Lue.” I pause, my lips trembling at the thought of Lue hating me too. God, I didn’t want her to hate me, that burns almost as bad as him hating me. “Tell Lue that I said goodbye.”
“Sure. I’ll do just that,” he says, and for a moment as I walk past him, his eyes connect with mine, and I see regret there. His mouth opens, but before he can say whatever it is he wants to, I walk out quickly.
I walk out and don’t look back, knowing that if I do, I may never have the guts to do what I need to do.
And I’ll do whatever I need to protect them.
Even if I know that I may never recover from the way my heart breaks as I drive away from the only man who ever truly loved me.
37
thea
“Holy shit,you’re in a piss-poor mood.” My sister, never one to pull her words or her punches, glares at me behind the bar.
It was Friday night, and we had a full house. It wasn’t the time to be fighting with my sister, but she wasn’t wrong. I was not in a good mood.I haven’t been since I drove away from the one person I love last night. How could I be?
“Leave me alone, Annmarie,” I say back, focusing on filling orders and forcing smiles onto my face. I’ve never had my face hurt from having to force smiles before, it was a new kind of torture.
“I wish I could, you know?” Annmarie says, almost conversationally, as she methodically pours shots without spilling. “But I have to see that mean mug day in and day out, and frankly, babe, we’re stuck here together.”
Sometimes my sister was just too fucking much.
“Annmarie.” I turn, giving her a stern look. “Drop it.”
Thankfully, the band was loud tonight. It was one Juniperfound, set up, and arranged all on her own, and it brought in a fantastic crowd.
I wish I could get out of my own head and enjoy it.
“I can’t, Thea. What the hell happened?”
I haven’t spoken to my sisters about breaking up with Logan because, for one, I didn’t think they would believe me. Logan and I have been attached at the hip, with Lue fully in tow, for months now. So my story about moving too fast…I highly doubt they would fall for that line.
And two, well, maybe I just don’t want to deal with the truth of it right now.
I’d gone home to my empty apartment only two nights ago and felt more alone than I ever had before. Worse was picturing Logan home alone too, given that Lue had been out for the night.
It killed me to think about that.
Still, we both held our pride, and neither one of us has reached out to the other.
