Page 104 of Break the Barrier
I line up another piece of wood and slam my axe into it again, letting my arms and hands feel the vibrations, relishing in the slight tinge of pain that it causes. It’s nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my chest ever since I let Thea walk out on me.
Fuck, I close my eyes at the sting of pain lancing through my broken fucking heart.
I keep asking myself what went wrong. I keep asking why I let her walk out on me. I keep asking if I loved her too hard, too fast, or came on too strong.
None of that fits, though.
Every angle I look at, her sudden disappearance from my life feels like someone took a piece out of a finished puzzle.
Lue was the worst part of it all, my bubbly, happy daughter was no longer acting like she normally did, she was quiet and sullen. Her constant chatter was no longer there.
There wasn’t much I could tell her other than Thea needs some time to work some stuff out. Not really an explanation, and I probably should have just said we broke up to rip that bandage off the festering wound, and we’d deal with it as it came.
Of course, when I said that to myself, my heart was beating radically in my chest, protesting the very idea that Thea and I were done. For some reason, I wouldn’t quite let myself believe that, even if it’s the truth.
After dinner, Lue went to Mom’s craft room to work on some things my mom had gotten her. I nearly protested wanting to get home to my bed and sulk a little more. That wasn’t fair to Lue though, so I told her it was fine and settled into a barstool at my mom’s island.
She was wiping some of her not-safe-for-dishwasher dishes, but her glances would snag on me every once in a while.
It was still light out, our summer sun slowly setting earlier and earlier each day, but I kept my gaze on the doors that led to the back porch, where the sun was setting now.
“You sure seem melancholy.” Mom’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I glance back at her.
“I’m fine,” I say, resting an elbow on the countertop.
“You’re definitely not fine, my son,” she replies, setting her dishes down and coming closer, leaning on the opposite side of the counter from me.
“Mom, I really don’t want to talk about this.”
No need to drag my heart through more pain, talking about what had gone down with Thea only dug the knife deeper.
“Maybe not, but I know you noticed the change in Lue. That’s a problem.”
Biting my lip, I nod my head. “I know.”
“Boy, that girl…” Mom shakes her head. “She broke three hearts in one swoop.”
“Three, huh?”
“Oh, honey.” She reaches over and pats my hand where it rests on the island. “That woman loves you—she’s just trying to find her way.”
For a minute, I can’t say anything in response to that, but I protest that thought in my head. If she loves me, then why the hell would the option be to leave me?
“I don’t know, Mom. She’s got some demons in her closet that keep clawing their way back out.”
“Don’t we all,” Mom muttered, absentmindedly wiping at the counter that was already clean. “There have been many times in my life where I made mistakes, Logan. I’ve loved and lost, I’ve hated when I should have used my brain for logic, I’ve let emotions guide me down a path of destruction. None of those responses did me any good.”
I lift my gaze to hers, my brows furrowed. “Dad?” I ask, referring to her loved and lost statement.
A small twist of her lips tells me that I’ve guessed wrong. “Your father only did one good thing in his miserable life—give me you boys.” Shaking her head, she sighs deeply. “No, I never truly loved your dad. Though I can’t help but be grateful for his presence in my life when he was here. Even if I let him treat me unkindly just to keep you boys safe.
“No, I loved another.” She pauses, likely knowing that I was thoroughly shocked by this news. “He was all in with me, even with four small boys coming with the package, and I, being young and dumb at the time, turned him down, thinking there was no way what I had to offer was good enough for him.”
Her eyes grow sad, and I imagine she’s thinking of the person she turned down. She turns and looks at me dead-on. “Logan, you have to know that Thea loves you, and not only that, she’s doing this to protect you.”
Protect me from what? I almost ask. But I know, deep in my bones, what she’s trying to protect me from.
“You just need to give her time. She’ll realize that what she’s doing is more hurting than helping and come to her senses.”
