Page 70 of Nanny for the Bodyguard
I sag into the mattress, unable to deny Easton. I know that he cares and is just trying to be there for me; it's probably wise that I open up to someone.
At least, that's what Olivia would say from her years as a therapist.
“It was just a nightmare about Neil. I see the same thing in my head when I have nightmares like this. They replay over and over again.”
My eyes drift down to the mattress between us, and I stare at nothing. I can still see eyes glaring at me when I blink, horrible eyes that promise pain.
“You don’t have to stress yourself out, Hazel. But it might make you feel better to get it out. I don’t know. I just want to help.”
Sighing, I look up at him and squeeze his hand. “I know. I do. It’s…”
The words drift away, but I feel them bubbling back up my throat almost immediately. There is so much I’ve never said out loud. I’ve never talked about the details to anyone.
After everything, I feel like Easton will listen to me. He’ll…hearme.
“I remember being in that dark room, waking up with my head splitting. I remember all the terrible things that he said were going to happen.”
Panic rises up my throat, nearly choking me, memories of the abuse making me feel small and dirty even now. But I focus on the nightmare, what I’ve been seeing in them, what’s been haunting me lately.
“Mostly, I remember the day that I testified against Neil in court, the look that he shot me from across the room. It was terrifying, Easton. I know that it sounds so silly to say that afacethat someone made terrified me, but there was something about it. I could see the threat of violence in his eyes. I knew that Neil was going to do something like this, and I felt powerless to stop him. I still do.”
That’s the rub, of course. I feel helpless. If I could call the cops or stand up to Neil and his thugs, it wouldn’t be an issue.
But I can’t prove who hurt me. I can’t face Neil because I know I will break down. I’d become that weak victim again.
“I thought I got over the nightmares. Honestly, it's been a while since I've had them. But ever since the attack, they've started up again.”
“Hazel,” Easton lifts my chin so that I’m looking at him, “you’re not weak or wrong because you’re affected by what’s going on. It would be a lot foranyoneto swallow. If there’s anything I can do to make you feel safer, tell me, and I’ll do it. Okay?”
My heart warms, and I smile despite the nervous energy still coursing through me. Still, my heart rate has gone down, and I feel better just being around Easton like this.
“Thank you. I'm just…I know that Neil has been so quiet lately. We haven't heard anything, and thankfully, I haven't been attacked again, but I can't help but worry that he's still out there cooking something up, figuring out some way to attack me.”
I sigh, and Easton stands up from the bed only to come around to the other side and get in next to me. He pulls me against his side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“I'm sorry for dragging you into this. I'm just worried that Neil is still going to send someone after me. This doesn't feel like it's over. We never even found that guy who attacked me.”
Easton rubs his thumb up and down my arm, and I try to focus on the sensation. The way his calloused finger brushes against the skin of my bicep. The way he breathes, and his chest moving me up and down.
“As long as you are under my roof, Hazel, I will do everything in my power to protect you. I don't want anything to happen to you.”
He squeezes me against him, and I turn into his chest, burying my face in his shirt. His heart is pounding steadily, and I can smell the lingering fragrance of his cologne.
I need Easton here, I realize. It’s so much more than just having a friendly shoulder to lean on. I do feel like I can rely on him, and I know that we’re supposed to be fake, that this isn’t supposed to be real, but right now, it feels like the truest thing in my life.
“I know that we haven't talked about everything that's going on,” I can’t help but laugh at that like Easton read my mind, “but I need you to know that your safety matters to me more than almost anything. It's you and Jade. You're my girls, and I want to keep you safe.”
I can't be sure what he means by that, but I lean up and lock eyes with Easton, and before I know it, I'm crashing my lips against his, seeking the comfort I'm so desperate for in his kiss.
He holds me close, cupping the back of my head, and I feel safe there. I still can't be sure if the reason that we're so drawn to each other right now is because of the danger all around us.
Is Olivia right?
Are we going to realize that how much we like each other right now is just a fluke as soon as the danger isn't there? Is the only reason that Easton and I keep falling into bed with each other because of the threat that looms over our heads?
I don't want to think about it right now because, in truth, I'm scared to find out the answer. I still just don't know where we stand.
So, instead, I tangle my tongue with his, breathe in his scent, and focus on where he is with me right now.
