Page 66 of In You
She pauses, squinting at me."Whoa."she says, her eyes going wide. "What the fuck happened toyou? You look like dog shit."
It's not funny, but I snort. "That's because I ironically took a trip to doggie hell last night." I take a long drag of my cigarette, and lean my head back on the chair as I rock.
"What?"Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"I don't want to talk about it."
She nods, folding her arms and looking to the trees ahead. I jerk my head to the other rocking chair on the other side of the small table. "Have a seat." As soon as she does, I look over at her, roaming her face. "You feel okay?"
"Yeah." She gives me a little look, arching a sassy brow at me, "I feel fine.Why?Doyoufeel okay?"
I nod. However, I'm pretty sure I'm not. I think I'm still in shock or something. "I'm fine," I lie.
After I had a mental breakdown in the tub, I dialed Alexander's emergency number and got a prescription for anxiety medicine for myself, and a much stronger sleeping pill for her. Wondering what the fuck I'm going to do if she splits again into Cun…Tamryn, the seven year old.
Because Caleb, the seven year old, almost got out of the bath and put a gun to his head last night, and I promised to save her. I didn't do it, obviously, because I can't save her if I'm dead.
As she talks, I run through shit in my mind, trying to keep everything right.
Tamryn's put out, irritated I won't let her go, loves to eat hearty food, loves flowers. I see her in the morning mostly.
Camilla loves soft sex and intimacy and trust with me, doesn't love flowers, likes delicate food, comes out often.
Nathan, only came out once when threatened out in the woods.
Tamryn the seven year old, not that horrid fucking "c" word, also only has come out once. Not sure what the trigger is, but I race through everything in my mind to figure it out. Fuck,canthis even be figured out?
I don't know, but for her, I have to keep trying. I am Frank 2.0.If anyone can figure this the fuck out, it should be me.
Right?
24
Take Me Out Of My Misery
Caleb
ThenextmorningIhead out the front door and walk around to the back porch, sweeping off the little bits of frost that have mixed with the dead leaves on the porch.
Tamryn, Camilla, Nathan, and nowCunty.
Lord God. What the hell am I going to do if she sprouts another personality?
I wait and wait for her to come to me and tell me she remembers anything about our time in the woods. Or her turning into her seven-year-old alter, but it never comes. To say I'm shaken to my core and mentally fucked up is an understatement because right now my brain feels like the devil’s playground mixed with a children's trampoline park at the moment.
Whoever runs this fucking world needs to come up with some new verbiage to add to the English language so I can adequately express how I feel, because this is the most discombobulated I've ever felt in my entire life. Beyond.
I sigh deeply, throwing a longing look at the back door, seeing flashes of Tamryn through the screen as she cooks, wishing I could go in and get a cup of coffee to help kill this feeling that I'm dragging around boulders on my feet.
Instead, I light up a cigarette and sit on the rocking chair, dead ass exhausted from not sleeping for over twenty-four hours now. I didn't even turn the water off this morning. I want Camilla. Need her. But to my luck, Tamryn's in there frying up ham and eggs for breakfast and hasn't poured herself a glass of water.
At least it's notNathan.So, I guess there's a silver lining in everything.
My heart hurts. I don't go inside, I stay sitting out here, too tired to eat because I stayed up all night last night terrified she was going to switch to her child alter. So needless to say I'm not really wanting to talk.
After a bit, she pushes through the screen door and walks to the railing, leaning against the post and crossing her arms. She's in a bad mood, and I can't even blame her after how subdued I've been since the incident. I keep my mouth shut, but I know it bothers her that I don't even ask if she's okay. But honestly, what the fuck can I say that doesn't bring up what happened?
I get Tamryn probably doesn't know what happened, but her subconscious does. She'snotokay based off the look on her face and the fucking attitude she seems to be nursing, and neither am I.
