Page 63 of In You
For letting my emotions get the better of me.
If I broke her because I started a sexual relationship before she might have been ready, I'll never forgive myself. Despite the complications of her alters, and now the appearance of her male alter, I think we can make this work. The intimacy we shared is so strong I refuse to believe there's not a world where me and her can coexist in our trauma.
Walking through the archway I pause mid-step at the sight of the dark television, and notice the tiny lamp in the corner that's normally on a side table is set down on the floor spilling its light across the dark wood. It's eerie, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I lower my foot to the ground and stop breathing, listening for something.
Where are my dogs?
My heart pounds. Fuck.Didshe run?
Even knowing the alarms would have alerted me had she gone off in the woods, it doesn't abate my panic; my anxiety rises even more sharply, taking over my common sense and sewing seeds of doubt where I thought buds of life might be trying to bloom. Letting my logical side take over, my eyes immediately cut to the foyer to see the front door is closed, and then I turn my head sharply to look past the living room furniture to the entrance to the kitchen where I can see the back door is closed too.
I wish I could say it calms me. A muscle ticks in my jaw, becausewhere the fuck are my dogs?
A sudden bout of worry that she's hurt them fills me, and I give a very low whistle as I take another few silent steps into the room, straining to hear.
There's a sound coming from the kitchen, like a shuffling and a crunching noise.
They're eating.
I breathe a sigh of relief and shake my head, getting another smile on my face as I realize Tamryn has been feeding Ringo and Tink extra food like I'd thought. I've been having to buy more cans of soft dog food than normal, but I didn't want to upset her so I haven't confronted her about it. But if she's getting up in the middle of the night to give them an extra feeding, then I might have to.
I cup my hand to my cock as warmth spreads throughout my body at the thought of holding her against me after we lay back down. Of maybe letting her touch me again.
Hearing another crunching sound, I round into the dark kitchen and chuckle.
"Hey you guys," I say playfully."Why're you in the dark?"I turn on the little lights under the cabinet and freeze, my eyes going wide.
Tamryn's on her hands and knees with her head lowered into Tink's dog bowl, eating out of it.
Naked.
My heart stops as I sink to my haunches, covering my hand over my mouth. I don't make a sound. My eyes leave her to see Ringo and Tink laying completely flat on the floor nearby, tails not wagging, facing her. Not even acknowledging my presence, and neither does she. All the prior emotions I was just feeling; lust, happiness, contentment, it all fades away to nothing.
Replaced by fear, pity, nausea, and something like desperation.
My hands tremble as I lower my head into them and take a deep breath, trying to get a handle on my emotions. When I think I'm ready, I sink to my ass, lean my back against the dishwasher, and stretch out a foot, nudging hers. Tamryn flinches and turns, holding her fingers to her mouth as she looks over her shoulder, her curls falling into her face. My soulscreamswhen her eyes lock with mine.
They're vacant as she peeks through the gap in them. It's creepy, not going to lie.
"Hi,"she says in an obviously young, trembling voice. My heart thumps hard once before beating slightly faster.
"Hi," I say back thickly. My eyes well up with tears because I instinctively know this isn't Tamryn or Camilla. "What's your name?" I try to smile, God knows I do, but I don't know what the hell I'm dealing with here, and to say I'm slightly terrified is an understatement.
I've never had even one kill that made me feel this bone deep chill that's currently making me shiver from the inside out. Not even my very first kill. Who was mymother.
My stomach rolls as I see the soft dog food smeared on her chin with one piece of hard food stuck there, hanging off her lip. I feel the breath leave me in a rush, and I clench my fist, fighting the urge to reach for her. This alter doesn't know me. I have nota fucking clue what I'm dealing with, but I know it's not a good idea to try and touch her right now.
"Cunty," she says, driving a knife straight into my heart. "What's your name?"
.…Oh. My. God.
A hot breath exhales out my nose and then, very quietly I ask, "How old are you?"
"I'm seven," she says with a little smile. "Where's Mr. Calvin?” Her hands rub up and down her thighs, and her eyes flicker towards the doorway of the kitchen as if she’s nervous. “Are you my daddy?"
I stand back up, unlock the back door and then stumble outside, vomiting over the railing.
Lowering my head on a choked gasp, I groan as I flashback to the night I found her. Remembering being so relieved that I didn't find a kid there, but also being confused at the dog bowl and water bowl on the floor, along with dog toys, but there was no dog.
