Page 45 of In You
"Okay, sweetheart, but you gotta eat. I have some soup here for you. I'm coming in."
I stay quiet, squeezing my eyes shut at the snick of the lock and the sound of his bare feet on the floor. I hear him lay the tray on the nightstand, and then a shuffling. I flinch as a hand settles on my hair. My eyes open and stare directly into his deep brown eyes.
"Don't touch me," I whisper, feeling my lips tremble.
Despite my objection, his hand strokes down my hair over and over. To my chagrin the tears come, flowing down my face to soak the pillow underneath my cheeks.
"What's going on with you, honey?" he says in a quiet voice. "Talk to me. You're going to have to let it out, because I won't let you bed rot."
My eyes flicker between his and I sit with all the knowledge I have of him, but it still doesn't make me feel better. Today is a hard day. I can't exactly put my thumb on as to why, but I'm off today.
"I want to go home."
He strokes my hair again. "This is your home, Tamryn." He tilts his head and takes a calm breath. "And besides, you don't have anywhere else to go."
I let out a weak sound of defeat, his words echoing in my head.
"I don't trust you." My voice cracks, and I pull Tink even closer into me.
Caleb nods and then reaches for the bowl. I roll my lips when he dips the spoon in. "Well, I'm going to have to earn your trust then." His eyes flick up from the bowl to meet mine, and he holds the spoon to my lips, waiting patiently. Seeing Tink inching closer, I open my mouth so he can slide the soup in before she can lick it, and I hum in pleasure as the taste floods my tongue.
It's potato bacon soup, a favorite. One my mom would make for me when I'm sick.
He couldn't have known that. There's no way.
More tears spill out and I shake, feeling a sharp pain of longing for my mom. And it hits me that what I'm feeling is grief. The grief I didn't get to experience while I was with Calvin.
"I wanna…" I trail off, feeling shy, and scared to trust how sweet he's being with me. "I wanna tell you, but I'm scared that you'll be mad."
Caleb exercises what could only be described as endless patience as he works to feed me another bite, his eyes turning warm. "I won't be mad. Talk to me."
"I miss my mom."
He averts his eyes from mine, and then takes his sweet time loading the spoon for another bite. "Grief is a natural part of life. I'm not surprised." His voice is clipped, and something stirs inside me, wanting to reach out and caress his hair.
I don't though.
Why would I reach out and touch him? He's keeping me here with him so I don't betray his identity.
He feeds me a slightly bigger bite, and I take my time before swallowing. "That's…That's all I wanna say about it," I say quietly, seeing that he's uncomfortable, but he's sticking with me through it despite whatever is bothering him. "I hope that's okay…"
Caleb feeds me spoonful after spoonful, and the bowl's almost gone before he finally speaks up.
"I know a thing or two about mistrust," he says, looking sad. My eyes widen at the sudden depressed and introspective look on his face, wondering what he means.
Leaning over, he places the bowl back on the tray and then puts an arm on the bed, his eyes roaming my face contemplatively. He clears his throat softly, and it's interesting to see his eyes harden just a bit as he seemingly firms his resolve.
"Now you're fed, so, here's our next step; you're going to get in the shower, and you're going to take your time and pamper yourself and get out of this room for a little while. I'll wash your sheets while you're busy doing that. Trust me when I say you'll feel much, much better."
I inhale a shaky breath, realizing I do feel better now that I have a bit of food in my stomach.
"Okay."
He treats me to a charming smile that makes my stomach somersault, and then leaves me to my privacy. And though I really want to lay in bed and cry all day, I do everything he says, and am thankful that I'm able to take time for myself, because for so long I haven't been able to.
Later that evening he leaves with Ringo to go do his thing outside, and I stay inside, curled up on the couch with a blanket, hot chocolate, and Tink. I'm switching aimlessly through the streaming services trying to find something to watch, but nothing's catching my eye. It's all too lovey-dovey, too scary, too humorous.
I'm in a mood. My feelings all over the place.
