Page 40 of In You
Itakeanotherswallowof water, eyeing the dishes, wishing I had full use of my hands when it hits me that the water has been running for a while, but Caleb hasn't come up yet. Frowning, I walk to the basement door and poke my head through.
"Caleb," I call, looking down the dark steps."Caleb, are you okay?"
I hesitate as a tingle of fear shivers down my spine, because I haven't been in a basement since…before…
I blink hard, shaking my head. "Don't be afraid," I say, taking a deep breath before stepping onto the first step.
I flick the switch, quickly realizing the light above the stairs isn't working. I roll my lips and then take four more stairs before fear paralyzes me in place. My knees knock together as I begin to shake, my eyes flickering around as I bend at the waist, holding the handrail for balance, and try to see deeper into the basement from halfway up the stairs.
"Caleb!"I whisper futilely. A little fission of anger swells inside me that he's making me do this knowing I'm scared.
Actually, that's wrong, he doesn't know I'm scared. He doesn't know.
Get a grip, Camilla,I think.He could be hurt, and you're over here lollygagging around while he might be bleeding to death on the ground from a head wound.
"Shut up,"I whisper, clenching my fist.
Seeing Tink go down the stairs ahead of me, I take one last look towards the light at the top of the stairs and take a deep breath. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit," I curse to myself, racing down the stairs before I lose my nerve and it's only when I get to the bottom does it hit me just how dangerous that is because I'm still in my cast. I would have been fucked had I slipped. Probably would have broken my neck.
At the right of the stairs is a room with a light on, and the door is half-ajar. I head towards it. "Uhm, Caleb, are you okay…" My worlds trail off as I push it open the rest of the way and see him standing with his back to the door, his palms planted on the work table with his head lowered, and he'scrying.
My lips twist as my eyes travel lower. On the worktop, there's the very corner of what looks to be a photo album just beyond his torso next to his left hand.
I don’t know what’s going on with him, but my heart aches for whatever pain makes a man cry like this. My eyes widen and I take a hesitant step forward. "Caleb?" I call softly. "What's wrong?"
He flinches, not turning to face me. He brings a hand up to scrub down his face. "Oh, hey. Nothing. Go ahead and go back upstairs.
"But you'recrying."
"I know," he bites out. "I get it. It's not very manly."
I nibble my lip, inching closer. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
He turns to face me and then I really panic at the look in his eyes. He's not just crying, he's suffering.
"Oh no," I whimper, smoothing my good hand lightly over his forearm and bouncing anxiously on my toes. "Oh, Caleb, what's the matter? Did I say something upstairs that make you-"
A rough sound leaves him, and he folds his arms and scrubs a hand harshly across his jaw. He clears his throat hard and then gives me a look I can't decipher. The raw pain in them feels like mine. I huddle my hand to my chest and then take another step into him, leaning my head into his chest.
This hard, sharp man so outwardly broken makes my heart cry for him.
I wince as he moves his hand out from under us and then places it on the back of my head. My eyes flutter shut as the heaviness helps ground me.
"It's hard for me to talk about mothers," he says quietly. I pull my head back keeping my fist trapped between us. His throat works hard on a swallow and he looks to the side, a muscle clenching in his jaw. "Because I don't have one."
"Oh." My brows scrunch together. "I'm…I'm sorry, Caleb. I didn't know."
He nods once. "Yeah. I know you didn’t, sweetheart."
I rub my hands in light soothing circles. "What happened to her?"
Keeping his face averted, he flushes. "I killed her."
My eyes widen as my heart skips a beat, suddenly remembering that though he's my savior, heisa killer. "Well…well…"I stammer, beginning to tremble. Utterly aware I'm in a dingy basement with him after I swore I'd never go into one ever again after what the Captor did to me.
"She….shedidstuff to me."
Instead of skipping a beat, my heart decides to turn a nauseating somersault in my chest. There's a few seconds of awkward silence where he stays looking off to the side, and I realize he's stuck in some sort of memory. A flashback maybe.
