Page 20 of City of Secrets and Shadows
She beamed at me, then began bustling around the small space, showing me where she’d made room for my few possessions in a small trunk at the foot of the bed. I half-listened, my mind still reeling from the events of the evening. Marcus was back. Octavia was here. We had enough gold to fund our plan. The path to vengeance was clearer than it had ever been.
“—listening to me at all?” Octavia’s voice broke through my thoughts.
I blinked, focusing on her face. “Sorry, I’m just... overwhelmed.”
Her expression softened. “Of course you are.” She patted the bed beside her, and I sat down gratefully. “It’s been quite a night for you, hasn’t it?”
I nodded, suddenly exhausted. “I never expected to see Marcus again. Or you.”
“He was like a man possessed,” Octavia said, her voice lowering conspiratorially despite the closed door separating us from the men. “From the moment we escaped the ludus, all he could talk about was finding you. Following you. Making things right.”
A lump formed in my throat. “He didn’t need to. I never blamed him for staying behind.”
Octavia gave me a look that said she knew better. “Didn’t you?”
I looked away, unable to deny it. Part of me had blamed him. Had felt betrayed that he hadn’t chosen me, hadn’t trusted me enough to leap into the unknown. That betrayal had fuelled my determination to forge ahead without him, to prove I didn’t need him or anyone else.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I said, pushing aside the complicated emotions. “He’s here. You’re here. We have a plan.”
“Yes, about that plan,” Octavia said, her tone shifting to one of concern. “Marcus told me what you intend. Killing the Emperor? Livia, that’s suicide.”
“So everyone keeps telling me,” I replied, an edge creeping into my voice.
“Because it’s true!” She grabbed my hands, forcing me to look at her. “The Emperor is the most heavily guarded man in the Empire. Even if you somehow got close enough to strike, you’d never escape alive.”
“I don’t care if I escape,” I said, the truth I’d been hiding from the men spilling out. “I only care that he pays for what he did to my family. To my village.”
Octavia’s face paled. “You don’t mean that. What about Marcus? What about your freedom, everything you fought for?”
I pulled my hands away, standing to pace the small room. “My freedom means nothing while the man who ordered my family butchered still sits on his golden throne. My brother died trying to protect me, Tavi. My parents were executed for trying to broker peace. I owe them justice.”
“And you owe yourself a life,” she countered, rising to face me. “Your family wouldn’t want you throwing away your hard-won freedom on a suicide mission.”
It was an argument I’d had with myself countless times since escaping the ludus. What would my parents say if they could see me now? What would Tarus think of the path I’d chosen?
“You didn’t know my family,” I said finally, my voice softer. “But I appreciate your concern, Tavi. Truly.”
She studied me for a long moment, then sighed. “You always were stubborn as a mule. Even as a child.”
That startled a laugh from me. “You barely knew me as a child! We met at the ludus.”
“And you arrived already stubborn,” she said, grinning at me. “Now, enough of this grim talk for tonight. Tell me about yourjourney. How did you end up with Septimus and the half-breed in tow?”
I tensed at her casual use of ‘half-breed.’ “His name is Tarshi.”
“Tarshi, then,” she amended, looking slightly taken aback by my sharp tone. “I’m just surprised you brought him, that’s all. After everything the Empire says about the Talfen—”
“Not everything the Empire says is true,” I cut in. “Surely you know that by now. He’s not what you think.”
She blinked, then nodded slowly. “You’re right, of course. And I’ll admit, they seem more... accepted here in the Imperial City than I expected. There’s a woman who comes to my market stall sometimes — half-Talfen, clear as day with those eyes, but she’s no slave. Runs a shop selling herbs and tonics.”
This was surprising news. In the provincial towns, half-breeds were almost always enslaved, considered barely better than animals. “See? The Empire’s propaganda doesn’t tell the whole story.”
“Perhaps,” Octavia conceded. “Perhaps they’re just more civilized here. But you haven’t answered my question. How did you end up traveling with... Tarshi? And Septimus?”
I settled back onto the bed, choosing my words carefully. I wasn’t ready to tell Octavia about my relationship with Tarshi — not when she was clearly still so uncomfortable with him just being in the rooms with us.
And certainly not when I couldn’t explain the complicated feelings I still harboured for Marcus, or the lingering affection for Septimus despite his betrayal.
