Page 104 of City of Secrets and Shadows
“This is exactly why,” I said, standing abruptly. “I knew you’d both overreact.”
“Overreact?” Septimus’s voice rose. “Livia, that animal put his hands on you, tried to—”
“I handled it,” I cut him off. “And Marcus shouldn’t have told you.”
Marcus at least had the decency to look guilty. “I was worried about you. And he deserved to know.”
“It wasn’t your place to tell him,” I said, pacing the small room. My hands trembled with anger, with frustration. “This is my life, my body. I decide who knows what happens to it.”
“Livia,” Septimus’s voice softened as he stood, reaching for me. “We care about you. We want to protect you.”
I stepped away from his touch. “I don’t need protection. I need respect. I need you both to trust that I can handle myself.”
“We do trust you, Livia,” said Marcus moving over to where we stood. “But trust goes both ways. You need to trust us too.”
That silenced me for a moment. He was right. By not trusting them, I was dividing us, and I already had the secret of mine and Tarshi’s relationship to deal with. I nodded.
“You’re right.” I turned to Septimus. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d go after him. I know what my safety means to you, but I do need to trust that your actions aren’t my choices to make either.”
“We need to be in this together,” said Septimus.
I turned to face them, these two men who had been constants in my life through the darkest times. Marcus, with his quiet strength and moral centre, who had taught me to fight with honour even in a dishonourable world. Septimus, fierce and loyal to the point of obsession, who had protected me since childhood at the cost of his own happiness.
“What do you want me to say?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “That I care for you both? That I don’t know how to choose? That the thought of losing either of you terrifies me more than any arena battle ever did?”
Marcus approached slowly, as one might approach a cornered animal. “You don’t have to choose, Livia.”
I stared at him, uncomprehending.
“What he means,” Septimus said, his voice rough with emotion, “is that we’ve talked. About you. About... us.”
My gaze darted between them. “You’ve talked?”
Marcus nodded, a slight smile softening his features. “It wasn’t an easy conversation.”
“Or a short one,” Septimus added with a hint of his old humour.
“And?” I prompted, my heart racing.
Marcus took my hand gently. “And we both love you, Livia. In different ways, perhaps, but with equal devotion. We’re willing to share you, if that’s what you want.”
The words hung in the air, heavy with implication. I searched their faces for any sign of deception or reluctance, but found only openness and a vulnerability that made my chest ache.
“What about… if anyone else came along?” I asked. I had been thinking of Tarshi, but for some reason, Jalend’s face came into my mind.
As though Septimus could read my mind, he shook his head.
“I knew that arrogant piece of shit noble was worming his way into your good graces. At least he treats you with respect, I suppose.”
“What Septimus means is that we want you Livia. And if that means sharing you with other men because your heart desires them, then that’s what we’ll do.”
Septimus stepped closer, until the three of us stood in a tight circle, our bodies almost touching. “But know this,” he said, his voice dropping to a register that sent a shiver down my spine. “We’ve made our choice. We choose you, Livia. Both of us. However you’ll have us.”
The intensity in his blue eyes made my breath catch. I knew Septimus wanted me, but seeing that desire openly acknowledged, sanctioned even by Marcus, changed something fundamental between us.
Marcus’s thumb traced small circles on the back of my hand, a simple touch that nonetheless sent heat coursing through me. “No pressure,” he murmured, though the deepening of his voice suggested otherwise. “Just possibility.”
I became acutely aware of how close we stood, of the warmth radiating from their bodies, of the subtle scent of Marcus’s skin and the familiar intensity of Septimus’s gaze. The air in the room seemed to thicken, charged with unspoken desire.
