Page 34 of Winter Ends
In a way, I hated that question. Mostly because I never knew how to answer it. The label of my sexuality had never been all that important to me. I saw someone, and I liked them, so I went after them. Parts didn’t matter. There was a name for that. That was fine. People could call me pansexual all they wanted, but I didn’t want to settle. Was it really important to slap some sort of cookie-cutter definition on what I felt?
“You ever watchSchitt’s Creek?”
Daniel nodded slowly.
“Do you remember that weird analogy that David made about liking the wine and not labels?”
I got another nod, and I took a deep breath. “I guess you could say that’s me. Except, I’mreallyadamant about not liking the labels.”
“So...” He trailed off, brow creasing in confusion as he looked around the room. “What does that mean?”
I laughed, hooking a finger under his jaw and bringing his attention back to me. “It doesn’t mean anything. I like people. All people. I don’t want to stick a name on that. Is that okay?”
We were back to Daniel looking so lost in thought. He fidgeted beneath the blanket, and before I knew it, his fingers slid between mine. Holy. Shit. Were we holding hands?
The guy who had just tried to punch me earlier was now holding my fucking hand. This was unreal. Though, I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. I wanted to savor the connection I was building with Daniel. He’d been so much of a mystery to me, and I wanted to uncover more layers. The problem was figuring out what I could ask him without having him shut down completely.
“You’re an only child?”
It was a dumb question. I’d met his parents. Maybe there was a story there. Had Daniel wanted a brother or sister?
He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. I think—I think maybe I was a surprise. Mom always called me her miracle. I didn’t get it growing up. Lord knows I made their lives hell. I was always getting into trouble with Art...”
There was that asshole... I wondered when he’d come up in conversation. Daniel tensed as he said his name, but shook it off and continued with his story. “When I was a teenager, Mom finally told me she’d been told she’d never be able to have kids. Some sort of genetic condition she has. I can’t remember what it is right now, so it was a shock when she found out that I was coming.”
My hand squeezed his. When I started this, I hadn’t thought our conversation would get so deep, but maybe if I avoided the subject of his friend who was currently locked up, I’d be okay.
“My dad wanted a boy. Bottom line. Someone to carry on the family businesses, I guess? Which is stupid because a girl can do that just fine, but what the fuck ever. Mom gave him me on the first try, and so they stopped.”
The way Daniel’s thumb rubbed against mine sent goosebumps trailing up my arm. It was weird how a simple touch could ignite so many feelings and sensations. He rested his head on my shoulder and a small part of me felt like I’d won some sort of major prize. In this small moment in time, Daniel Morgan didn’t hate my guts. I just had to figure out how to keep it that way.
Chapter 21
Daniel
“This was a stupid idea.”
“Why do you say that?”
The water blasted around us, and I did my best to shove my soaked hair out of my face. “There’s this idea that it’s romantic or some shit to shower together? I don’t know. I think we’re mostly in each other’s way.”
Shawn snorted a laugh, grasping my shoulders and scooting me to the side so he could rinse the soap from his body. That strangled feeling came creeping back. It was so dumb. We weren’t anything, just two dudes fucking around in a cabin during a snowstorm. But I still felt weird washing away the proof. Maybe it was creepy, but I wanted to wear him just a little longer.
“It’s not like I held a gun to your head and told you to get your ass in the shower...”
My eyebrow lifted. “No, but you did promise me a rim job and there’s been a lot of getting clean and not a lot of action with a tongue. It’s like you lied.”
That damn smirk plastered itself to Shawn’s lips again. “I didn’t lie, but the funny thing is, there’s this thing called hygiene. We might be starting to like each other a little more, but I’m not getting close to anyone’s ass if it’s not clean first.”
Damn. He wasn’t supposed to be making me laugh. And we weren’t supposed to be liking each other, either. I wanted to still dislike him at the end of this, but I already knew I was fucked in that department. The second we started telling one another about our lives, he wasn’t so bad. Misunderstood. I wanted to get to know him better.
“That’s fair,” I huffed as Shawn handed me the bottle of body wash and a rag. My hands shook a little as I squirted a liberal amount over the cloth. It was ridiculous that I was still so damn nervous at this point, but I hadn’t ever let anyone get this close.
After coating the washrag in suds, Shawn took it from my hands. He twirled his finger to instruct me to turn around. I faced the wall and braced my hands against it, waiting for him to make the next move. The feel of the soapy rag trailing over my shoulders and back had me wanting to melt into the porcelain of the tub. I wasn’t so focused on where he was touching me, just enjoying the sensation of his hands on me.
My eyes drooped closed, and I savored all the feelings coursing through my limbs. They tingled at the attention, wanting to wrap around and return the touches that the man behind me bestowed upon me.
The cloth scrubbed lower, pressing into my lower back before passing over my cheeks before Shawn spread them. A hiss left my lips as the material swiped against my puckered entrance. My face heated as he scrubbed at the spot. Having anyone paying any attention to that part of me was new. Even for myself. There were times when I felt tempted to touch myself there, but I never dared. Every time I had, Art and his teasing would popinto my head. But not now. Now, all I could focus on was Shawn, his gentle touches, and how he didn’t make me feel small at all.
