Page 26 of Winter Ends
“Does that hurt?”
I closed my eyes, knowing exactly what he was talking about. When I’d taken my hoodie off, there’d been a purple bruise where he’d been sucking on me. It had been stupid of me to let him mark me in any way without knowing when anyone would show up here, but I had been too caught up in the moment. Too drawn in by the way my body had lit up at his touch and the way his fingers had felt trailing across my chest.
Damn.
I rolled away from him and stood up. The mirror was on the other side of the room, but the mark was so prominent that I could see it from where I was standing.
“Honestly? I didn’t even realize you’d done it at first...”
When Shawn stood next to me, I did my best not to flinch when he wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed his nose into the spot. Little zaps and zings shot down my spine. Now wasnot the time to get turned on by him. I needed to stop avoiding him and we needed to talk about what the hell had happened. I shouldn’t have let it get that far, but part of me wanted to let it go there again. To go further. To let me finally get a taste of what I’d been craving, even if it was Shawn.
“Are you mad?”
My breath caught. I wanted to shove him away, to tell him to stop touching me, but the second he kissed the hickey I was goo. Completely gone for the guy who made me want to slap him most of the time.
“Not—not exactly.”
Everything felt cold when Shawn pulled away. Even if a moment ago I’d been wavering, now all I wanted was his warmth.
Shawn said nothing as he walked out of the room, leaving me to stare at his retreating back. Had I read that entire conversation wrong?
“The hell?” The words were out of my mouth as I stomped out of the room and followed him down the hall. He had just opened his bedroom door when I caught up to him. Shawn turned wide eyes on me as I shoved him into the room. “What the fuck do you want from me? You’re the one who came and bothered me. I don’t understand what you get out of messing with my head. Is this a game to you?”
My fists clenched in the front of his shirt, pushing him further into the room. “It’s not a game. I don’t think you understand what you want.”
I laughed, shoving him onto the bed. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the person who got aggressive like this.
“I don’t know what I want? The biggest fucking joke I’ve ever heard. Not once have I ever been shy about asking for what I want, and do you know what it gets me? Laughed at. You’re just like everyone else.”
When Shawn’s eyebrows creased, I knew I’d said too much. It wasn’t fair to keep projecting all of that onto him, but how dare he try to say that I didn’t know what I was after? Maybe he wasn’t just like Art, after all; maybe he was worse.
Words tumbled uninhibited from between my lips. They’d started and there was no way to stop the avalanche once it’d begun. “I’ve been bi since I can remember. The first time I asked a guy if I could touch him, he laughed. Told me I could get fucking lost. The worst part is the fucker was my best friend.Wasbeing the important distinction there. And yet I let him continue to dangle it in front of my face for years.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Shawn had scooted to the edge of the bed, moving closer. He reached out to grab my arm, but letting him touch me would be a disaster. I needed to talk, needing him to understand the way I ticked.
“I shared my best friend’s girlfriend because it was the only time I got to be with him in any capacity. Was that fucked up? Maybe. I was desperate. The asshole took advantage time and time again and I shouldn’t have been surprised...”
I didn’t get to finish. Shawn was off the bed, hands in my hair, with his mouth slammed over mine. He took my breath away, and I clung to his shirt again, this time pulling him closer instead of shoving him away.
“You’re right, he is an ass,” Shawn panted as he pulled away for a moment. “But if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t be right here, right now.”
Warm fingers grabbed the bottom edge of my t-shirt and I let Shawn go long enough to let him pull it over my head.
Chapter 16
Shawn
“No one gets to make you feel small, or ridiculous, for liking what you do.”
Daniel’s face turned pink as I leaned in to kiss him again, this time a little more gently. His skin was soft under my fingertips, warm, and covered in goosebumps as I trailed my hands down his chest.
It was his turn to break the kiss this time, hands capturing mine when they reached his jeans.
“I think this goes without saying that I’ve never done this before.”
His blush was back, and when I tried to lean in to kiss him once more, he backed away. Frustration sizzled beneath the surface. Hadn’t he just said that he wanted this?
“So what exactly does that mean? You’ve had sex?”
