Page 61 of Winter Ends
The moment Shawn went to stand, I clutched at his shirt tighter. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. It was embarrassing enough. I had never bought into the whole hyper-masculine bullshit that men weren’t allowed to show emotion, but not everyone felt the same. The last thing I needed for the evening was for some idiot to call me out as we were trying to leave.
“There’s a back entrance. Would you feel better going that way? I can try to get you your jacket?”
I nodded, my voice back to not working. Letting Shawn walk back out of the supply room was painful, especially after I’d made a mess of his shirt. Thankfully, I could also ask to go back to his place so I could ride in his car and not worry about freezing my ass off on a walk home.
My eyes closed at the onslaught of realization. Go back to his place. Damn. Things had really shifted. I couldn’t imagine being without him tonight. I was too raw and ragged.
“I got your jacket. Let’s get you out of here.”
My legs were jello as Shawn helped me from the floor and dropped my jacket over my shoulders. His arm settled around my waist as he directed me to the back door. After having a week off, it sucked not working the first night back.
The cool blast of air hit my face the second the back door opened. It woke me up a bit and made me more alert. I just wanted to go home, but not my home. The new home I was weirdly creating with the man that I hated not too long ago.
I didn’t even have to say anything. The second Shawn turned onto the road, we were heading to his place. Something inside me unraveled like a snake losing interest in its prey. The ideathat I wasn’t going to be alone, that I could snuggle up with the stupid orange cat that I was getting way too attached to…
“Dad said we could take tomorrow as well if you needed to.”
I laughed. “Why wouldweneed to do anything? I’m the one having the freak-out.”
Shawn’s warm hand on my thigh sent tendrils of comfort coursing through me. “Because you don’t have to do any of this by yourself anymore.”
The last thing I wanted was to drag him down. There wasn’t even a guarantee that I’d still be this fucked up tomorrow. It was more the shock that there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and I wouldn’t have to avoid phone call after phone call soon. Add in the fear of what would happen come summer when Art and Tilly eventually walked free.
As if the universe knew about my dilemma, my phone vibrated in my pocket. The brief moment of reprieve I had from the holiday and Shawn’s family offering me help seemed to shatter. Seeing the eight-hundred number illuminate the screen sent that serpent slithering back around its victim. I was suffocating.
“Do you need me to answer it?”
I shook my head, thumbing the disconnect button. Art didn’t deserve my time or energy. He didn’t need threats from Shawn because if we were really doing this law thing. I wasn’t going to give him ammunition against me.
It took far too long to get to Shawn’s apartment, and when I slid from the passenger seat, it was as if I was on autopilot as I made my way to the front doors of the building. Shawn rushed ahead of me, opening them to allow me inside and leading me to the elevator bay. I didn’t even remember the ride up; I just blinked, and we were there.
When I sank into the cushions of the couch, Nacho hopped up next to me, nudging me with his fuzzy head. That was another strange adjustment. In the past, I would have locked up so fast,but not for that little guy. Nope. Something about rescuing him and Shawn’s insistence that he was my cat. I lifted my arm and allowed him to crawl onto my lap. He curled up there, kneading my thighs as he got comfortable. His coppery fur was so soft and smooth under my palm as I stroked him.
Before I knew it, my eyelids grew heavy, and I drifted off.
“Idon’t know what to do.”
I sat up, Nacho jumping from the couch and running into the other room. Shawn’s voice carrying down the hall woke me from my sleep. I was bummed that he had left me on the couch, but I couldn’t blame him if he hadn’t wanted to disturb me.
“He needs someone who isn’t me to talk to.”
A long pause.
“I hoped you could help talk him into something.”
Who the hell was he talking to?
Before I could stop myself, my feet carried me down the hall and into his room. Shawn sat on the edge of the bed dressed in nothing but a pair of low-slung flannel pajama pants while he pressed my phone to his ear.
My. Phone.
My ears rang with the realization that he was talking to someone I knew. It was easier said than done not to panic. He could have been talking to Chase, who knew everything, but hecould have been talking to someone else. His heart was in the right place, but he should have consulted me first.
“He’s up. We’ll call you back.” Shawn pulled the phone away, disconnected the call, and approached me. Lord, I was like a scared baby animal, ready to bolt at the tiniest hint of trouble.
“Who was that?” My throat was so damn dry, and I struggled to swallow around the question.
Shawn didn’t answer right away, but when he tried to pull me into a hug, I flinched away from the contact for the first time since this whole thing had started.
