Page 47 of Barefoot Dreams
“Julie bean!” Jacob’s booming greeting shakes the pictures on my walls, and I shake my head at his usual antics.
“Jacob,” I greet him but apparently it isn’t good enough because the smile he always wears drops off his face that instant.
“What’s wrong?” He’s over my counter instantly, his hands gripping my shoulders while he hunches to look into my eyes.
He must find the distress I’ve been feeling because in a flash I’m no longer at the counter and he shouts to my employee that we’re taking a break.
Jacob hauls me out back and sits me at the colorful staircase. “Talk to me.”
“Owen said I’m meeting his parents tonight.”
“Whoa, what? And what do you meanhe saidyou were?”
“He said we made those plans earlier today when he saw me with Griffin in front of the fire station. I was just confirming with Griff that he’s coming over tonight to see my radishes and Owen was all likeyou already have plans, remember?” I try to mimic his voice, but it sounds way too deep and hysterical.
Jacob’s brows are at the hairline. “There’s so much to unpack in that word-vomit,” he states with stupefied wonder. “Okay, we’ll get back to you showing your radishes to Griffin.”
With a groan, I slump forward, bracing my arms on my knees and bury my face in the palms of my hands. Jacob pats my back patronizingly. “It’s okay, I show my eggplant to women all the time.”
“Shut up.” It comes out muffled, and he chuckles.
“Okay, one crisis at a time. I had no idea you were that serious with Owen!”
“Neither did I.”
“What?”
“I mean…” I straighten up and then release a long sigh. “I like him. I do. And we’ve been getting along okay. And the dateshave been okay. And he’s been good to me. And…” I trail off, and Jacob picks up my sentence.
“And it sounds like I’m about to fall asleep here.”
“I should feel more, shouldn’t I?” I turn my head to look at my friend. “But maybe I shouldn’t be picky at my age.”
“Whoa!” Jacob frowns, putting his hands up. “What the fuck? What age? Are you seriously trying to tell me right now that you are willing to…settle?” He utters that last word with utter distain and the worst part is, I feel the same way.
I’ve never wanted to settle. That word doesn’t even belong in my vocabulary.
But I also hate hurting people. Hate. It.
How am I supposed to tell Owen I don’t want to have dinner with his parents yet? He’ll be disappointed and hurt. Will he want to keep seeing me?
Do I want that?
“What do I do, Jacob?” I plead with him.
“Julie bean, look at me,” he says sternly, and I do as I’m told, finding gentle, soft eyes waiting for me. “You’ve never asked me that question before and you shouldn’t be now. That’s not you. I don’t know what’s going on, what’s got you all messed up, and I want to know that part, but I never had to tell you what to do.” He frowns. “You’ve always followed your own path, your own way, why stop now? What is your heart telling you?”
I look out toward the ocean and the curling waves that are no more than scribbles from all the way here.
My heart…my heart’s been set on one person since I was eight years old, but unfortunately my heart and my path in life are not aligned.
But…could I live with a lie? Could I live my life in peace and harmony knowing my heart doesn’t belong to the man sleeping next to me?
No, Jacob’s right. I never had to voice that question because I’ve already had all the answers. They are just not the ones I’d prefer, but that’s life. And I’ll have to make the best of it. I always do.
“See? I knew you’d figure it out,” Jacob says softly, and when I glance his way, I find him watching me—without a doubt reading all the epiphanies I’m having right off my face.
“I hate hurting people,” I murmur, and Jacob nods.
