Page 42 of Barefoot Dreams
I’ve never once wanted to change something about myself but if my skin tone could stop giving me away this easily, I wouldn’t mind it one bit.
“Kale is the best!” I agree, quickly taking a bite of my own food. The owner of Peace Out diner is a good genius where I’m concerned. “How many places have you been to?”
“Too many to count. I lived at the base, so I was ready to go anytime anywhere.”
“You did?” I arch my eyebrows.
“Yeah, I didn’t have anywhere else to be. No other home, so it worked out well for me.”
Maybe so, but that sounds so sad. He felt like he didn’t have a home, just living on the go for years and years.
“What made you decide to leave then?” My question makes him pause as he swallows nervously.
“I didn’t. I was forced to retire.” His voice turned low and somber.
“What happened, Griffin?” I knew, I knew deep in my soul that something happened. Something made him come back to Loverly Cave. I just wasn’t sure if he’d share it with me.
I’m not one of his friends. I’m not someone he shares secrets with, but I want to be.
I always have.
But I won’t push. He’ll tell someone when he was ready, I just hope it’s sooner rather than later because I can see whatever happened is weighing on him.
I’m just about to switch the subject when he utters in a barely audible voice. “I-I lost someone. My best friend, someone I was partnered with nearly from the start. We were on a mission together and…now I’m here and he’s not.” There are shadows in his eyes. Dark and miserable. “I was responsible for that mission, I had a solid plan, but all seemed too calm. Too perfect and…we were having fun. We were laughing and joking with one another until Caleb decided to prove me wrong and left our formation.” He swallows hard. “I tried to stop him. I tried! I commanded him to get back. I tried, Julie, I tried but…it was too late.”
“Oh, Griffin.” Without thinking, I drop my food and jump into his lap, throwing my arms around his shoulders.
For a second he stiffens and I’m sure he’ll push me away, shut down again and stew in his despair, but I can’t let him do that. I refuse and so, I cling onto him with desperation I didn’t know I possessed, trying to soak up the memories swirling in his eyes and then, all of a sudden, he lets go with such elation it almost feels like he’s been holding that in for far too long.
His strong arms wind around me, tightening, as he draws me closer, deeper and draws a few ragged breaths.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I say softly.
“Yes, it was, Birdy. I should’ve kept him in line better. We shouldn’t have been messing around.”
“Do you think what happened to Cal all those years ago was his fault?”
“No, of course not,” Griffin says vehemently. The memories of their senior year fresh even sixteen years later.
“Then stop blaming yourself as well. I don’t know what happened exactly, and I won’t pretend to understand all the intricacies of your service, but it sounds like Caleb decided to risk it. He made that choice consciously. You didn’t send him there. It was his choice. You hear me? I love this universe. I love this life but sometimes it throws a lightning through our path and we have to deal with it the best we can. It’s not our fault. We didn’t ask for it. But it just happened.”
“How do I live with it then? How do I forget?”
“I don’t imagine you can forget.” I pull away just enough to look him in the eyes, my expression serious. “But you need to keep living. Butterflies rest during the storm because it damages their wings. It’s okay for you to rest too. When the storm passes you will have all the power for a new fight. And to live for the both of you now. Just take it one day at a time. There’s no need to rush, no need to suddenly have all the answers.”
“Gosh, you really are so brilliant.” Griffin gazes at me with what I can only describe as awe.
“I try.” I smile and when I see a matching one gracing his lips, the urge to kiss it pulls me in. My heart beating one, two beats faster.
I almost start moving. Almost draw nearer when my phone dings, startling both of us and I blink.
Oh, crap…I notice our position, my hands around his neck, and his resting on my hips just above the curve of my butt. I feelhimunderneath me and heart goes in overdrive.Ifeelhim. All of him.
Crap, crap, crap. How did I get here?
Quickly, I scramble off his lap, shifting back into my seat.
“Are you going to check it?”
