Page 14 of Kai
The silence that followed seemed to suffocate him. He felt her pain and was thrown back to that time of his life. He had heard of her calls and could have called and explained things to her. But he had chosen not to, telling himself that part of him was no more. He had been her first and he knew how she felt. And he had crushed her heart and shattered it. Looking at her, he realized she was still hurting, and he had no idea what to do or say. If he opened his arms, she was just going to reject him. And nothing he could say was going to make things right.
"I have no excuse." He murmured tersely.
"We finally agree on something." She struggled to regain her composure.
"I would like another chance."
She actually laughed. "Not a chance." She declared unhesitatingly.
"Maxie--"
"I'm seeing someone."
A frown touched his brow as he mentally searched through the file he had on her. It had said nothing of her being involved.
"Who is this guy?"
Her brows arched. "Really?"
"Look--"
"No." She pushed to her feet, just as Brutus came bounding into the room. He headed straight for the man sitting there. "I would like you to leave." It pissed her off to see her dog nudging at his hand and those long, clever hands rubbing his moist coat. "I have no intention of falling for your lies. You hurt me--" She took a deep breath. "Shattered my life--" Shaking her head as if shaking it off, she lifted her chin. "It's over -- has been over for ten years. Please don't show up at my house again, you're not welcome here."
He rose slowly, eyes on her face. When he started towards her, she had to force herself to remain where she was. Her breath became strangled inside her throat as he moved panther-like across the room.
"I hurt you." He stopped a few feet away from her, which had her breathing a little easier. "I was a child who was thrown into a situation, I had no idea how to navigate. I messed up and I would like the chance to redeem myself."
"No." She whispered.
"I am not giving up." The gleam that came into his eyes had her shaking. "I'm going to haunt your doorstep until you at least giveme the chance to make up for what I did." He started to reach for her, letting his hands drop when she stepped back. "Christ Max! I cannot get you out of my head. You're in my blood. We had something amazing--"
"And you destroyed it!"
His stomach clenched at the agonized look on her face. He wanted to cradle her -- wrap his arms around her and promise never to hurt her again. But it was not the time. She would fight him. He was going to have to wait.
"I did." He admitted quietly, keeping his hands to himself with great difficulty. "And I want to spend the rest of my life making up for it."
"It's too late." Wrapping her hands around her waist, she hugged her elbows. "Now, please leave."
He waited a spell until she felt her nerves reaching breaking point. "All right." Hunkering down, he rubbed his hand overBrutus' head and had the dog whimpering. Rising, he speared her with his fathomless eyes and nodded. "I'm not giving up."
Chapter 5
Her Sunday was ruined, damn him to perdition! The solace she usually found in the simple routine tasks had been shattered. Her peace was shattered and nothing she did made it better.
After he left, she curled up on the sofa with a very sympathetic Brutus, pushing his head against her folded arms and wept bitterly. She wept for the past and the girl who had spent years trying to come to grips with a broken heart. And she wept for the woman who had tried to be whole and had not quite accomplished it.
She also wept for the woman who had sat in this very room, aching to just curl up into the arms of the very man who had destroyed her all those years ago. Oh, she had wanted to believe him. Just brush aside what had happened, what he had done and crawl into his arms. The look of him had unnerved her. The tall, lean frame with the play of muscles. Even as a boy, he had been fully formed.
After an hour of curling into a fetal position, she had gently shoved Brutus away and set about cleaning the spotless house from top to bottom. She had a maid service, and someone came in twice a week when she was at the store to do the housework, so there wasn't much to be done. But she found something.Taking out the things from the pantry, she stacked them differently. After that was finished, she started on the fridge and thoroughly searched through to find out what was expired or soon to be.
After that was finished, she realized she had too much time on her hands, so she went upstairs and started on her huge closet. She loved shoes -- ever since she was in high school, she had had that weakness and blamed it on her mother. Adelaide Priestley had a closet built for shoes and handbags alone and she had every one of them labeled.
Maxie had not gone that far, but she had more than her fair share. Whenever she started to feel guilty about having too much, she would donate some of them to charity and then turn around to replenish the closet.
It was a sickness, she decided -- one that she happily concluded she did not have a cure for. And wanted none. Yvette would simply come over whenever she had a function to attend and would raid her closet. Fortunately for her friend, they both wore the same size.
Sitting on the vanity stool in the middle of the closet, she stared at the revolving shelves. For the first time since she could remember, it did nothing for her. She was listless and drained. The tears had taken everything from her, and she was angry that she had allowed him once again to invade her life and take away her peace. His apologies meant nothing to her, but what she should have done was accepted them graciously, instead of losing control and showing him that he still mattered.
