Page 87 of Roads Behind Us
“No! I wanna go home.”
She stomped her feet into the grass, and I nearly tripped on it and fell on my face, but I used the top of a standing headstone to catch myself and pushed to gain back momentum, apologizing to the unknown dearly departed in my head.
Finally, I caught up to her back at my truck and stopped her from yanking open her door with my hand over hers. “Athena, please just listen.”
“I don’t want to.” She pulled her hand away from mine, refusing to look at me. “I want to go home.”
This was going to take some heavy emoting, something I’d practically sworn never to do again.
Here goes nothing.
“I lost my mama when I was your age.”
That stopped her, and she turned to face me.
“And I lost my daddy when I was nineteen.”
“You did?” she asked, flicking away the tears beneath her blue eyes with two fingers. She looked so much like her dad that my heart squeezed in on itself inside my chest.
I nodded.
“So then, you get it. All I want is a family. Why’s that so bad?”
“It’s not bad at all,” I told her, tucking pieces of her messy hair behind her ear, “but it’s harder than you think.”
“So? Hard doesn’t mean impossible.”
“You’re right,” I said. “It doesn’t. Here, sit down.”
Pulling open her door, I waited for her to get in. When she did and she turned toward me, I tried to explain.
“When my mama died, it broke my daddy in ways I didn’t understand back then. I think I do now. I see the same things in your dad. My daddy loved my mama with all his heart, and I think yours did too.”
“Yeah, he did.”
“Okay, so when a person is lucky enough to have love like that and then they lose it, it’s hard to imagine ever lovin’ someone else. And I can’t even imagine losin’ a child.”
“Did your dad ever fall in love again?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “He wasn’t ready. Some people might never be ready.”
“But my daddy already loves you.”
“You can’t know that. I don’t even know that.”
“But I do know. Haven’t you seen the way he looks at you? Haven’t you noticed that he smiles when you’re around? He laughs. He eats more. He sleeps better. Everything’s better when you’re around.”
“You feel like it’s up to you, don’t you? That you have to keep watch over your dad, that you have to take care of him?”
She nodded. “It’s my job. At the funeral after Mama died, I promised her I would.”
God, that broke my heart. Athena and I had more in common than I wanted to admit.
“I know it feels that way, baby, but it’s not. It’s not up to you. You’re just a kid. It’s not meant to be your responsibility.”
“I’m not a k?—”
“You are,” I interrupted, lifting and holding her hands in mine. “You’re not little anymore, but you’re a kid, and it’s not your job to make sure the adults around you are happy.”
