Page 51 of Roads Behind Us
I felt whole again. And I felt found.
“Yeah, sweetheart,” I whispered when Bea whimpered above me, and she arched her back. “Take me with you.”
Her hair fell like rain down her back, swaying and swinging with her body, and a rose flush bloomed on her chest. I watched her, wanting her more and more with each passing second, and when I licked two fingers and slid my hand between the apex of her thighs and rubbed her clit, she jolted and called my name.
I came with the sound of her pleasure caressing me in the warm, yellow glow from my lamp, and she collapsed on top of me, kissing my neck and leading me down from Heaven with her lips.
Chapter Seventeen
Bea
“I feel bad I’m keepin’ you up,” Bax said while I snuggled closer to his chest.
I’d insisted on getting redressed just in case Athena came into the room, but now I remembered I’d locked the door so that wouldn’t happen. But still, I didn’t want a repeat of hurrying to help him get dressed while someone waited on the other side of the door.
“You probably have an early start in the mornin’.”
“Yeah.” I yawned. “But it’s fine. I’ll take a micro nap at lunch.”
He laughed softly. “What the hell is a micro nap?”
Assuming he could figure that out on his own, instead of answering, I blurted, “What was Candy like?”
I couldn’t help asking. Athena was such an amazing kid, and I wanted to know if she took after her mom. But really, what I wanted to know was if Candy and I were anything alike. If that was why Bax was attracted to me. Candy and I certainly didn’t look anything alike. And if we weren’t similar, then why was he attracted to me? From the pictures hanging in his living room and the one I’d seen in his brother’s office, I knew Candy had been all tall, soft, curvy mom, and I was hard, short, and worn.
He wasn’t my type at all. He didn’t have a motorcycle or tattoos, he actually cared about his fellow human beings, and he was somebody’s father. Maybe it was because he had a broken femur, but he was kind of a homebody. I couldn’t figure out why I wanted him as much as I did, and even more now we’d slept together.
But I did want more. More sex. More cuddles and kisses. More everything.
The way his deft fingers stroked leisurely through the length of my hair was intoxicating, and if he leaned down one more time to kiss the top of my head, I was going to go insane and jump his bones again. At least the ones that weren’t broken.
He cleared his throat.
“It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about her. I was just curious.”
“No,” he said. “No, I don’t mind, actually. It’s funny; I was just thinkin’ about what she’d think of you.”
“She probably wouldn’t like me.”
“I think she would’ve. She was sweet and kind-hearted and really smart, but she didn’t want to be in charge. She always wanted me to lead. But she didn’t like that about herself, you know? She always said she wished she had a stronger backbone.
“She deferred to me in practically all situations. She wouldn’t make a decision if she didn’t know what my opinion on an issue or a problem was. It didn’t matter what we were talkin’ about: finances, business decisions, family decisions. Even a lot of things about Athena. I guess I’d just assumed that when she became a mom, Candy would have that mama-bear thing. You know? I mean, she did in some ways, but if there was a problem, she expected me to handle it.”
“That’s a lot of pressure on you.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly, thinking. “We got together when we were still in high school, and back then, I didn’t know what I wanted. I just knew I loved her. But now, if you asked me what I wanted in a partner, I’d say an actual partner. Someone to help me make those decisions, to hash ’em out with me. Weigh the pros and cons. Someone who brings strength to the relationship.
“Candy would’ve thought you were a badass ’cause you’re so strong and sure of yourself.”
“Hm.” It hit me as I thought about how he’d described Candy that it felt like he was hinting at something here. Was I elated he was describing me when he listed all the things he wanted in a woman?
Or did it terrify me?
“What?” he asked, anchoring his hand loosely around the back of my neck.
“It’s just that I think I’m this way because I got tired of havin’ no backbone. So maybe she and I were alike. But I got so fed up with men tryin’ to run my life and tell me what to do. Honestly, that’s probably why I’m the way I am.
“Growin’ up, I was a daddy’s girl, through and through. But as much as I loved him, my dad seemed to think me bein’ his princess meant I wasn’t strong or smart or that I could make decisions, and I didn’t do a very good job of convincin’ him because I did whatever he thought I should. I didn’t go to college because he said he needed me and wanted me to work with him at his construction company.
