Page 49 of Roads Behind Us
Her lips tasted sweet, her breath even sweeter, and she played with my mouth, pulling at my lips with hers, her tongue dueling smoothly with mine, but then she’d relent and let me kiss her harder—a sexy push and pull. She rolled her hips over my arm in slow and determined waves, moaning and arching, then she tore her mouth away and leaned her forehead against mine.
“More,” she whispered.
I lowered my thumb and placed soft pressure on her clit.
“Yes,” she breathed.
My heart raced inside my chest as I watched the pleasure I gave play across her face. I rubbed round and round, pumping my fingers deep inside her, and I closed my eyes and focused on her breath rushing over my lips as it sped and she rocked harder on my hand.
She smelled kind of like cinnamon, spicy and warm, but sweet too, and it surprised me since she so emphatically denied being sweet.
She was though. It was easy to see the way she cared about my kid. The way she’d cared for me.
I couldn’t help imagining burying my cock deep inside her and feeling her body squeeze mine if we came together. She hadn’t even touched me yet, and I was nearly already there. The sound of her soft moans as her body climbed closer to release was enough to do me in.
She panted and begged, “Kiss me,” and I felt her body grasping my fingers tightly.
When I pressed my lips to hers again and slipped my tongue inside her mouth, she gasped, her body froze above mine, and she came as soon as my eyes locked on hers.
She held me there, in the cradle of her surrender, but finally, I slid my fingers out of her, and she blinked slowly, like she was disappointed at the loss of me inside her. But she leaned over to reach for my beside drawer, and she pulled a condom from the box my brother, Dixon, had thrown at me one day when he’d gotten fed up with my wallowing and told me, “Go get your dick wet. Nothin’ else is gonna pull you outta this slump.”
Like finding some random stranger on the street to fuck would’ve cured the pain caused by losing my?—
“Bax?”
“Huh?”
“Where’d you go?”
“I-I’m not sure I can do this.”
“It’s just sex.”
I had no response to that, at least not one I was ready to admit.
It wasn’t just sex. There was a connection between Bea and me. I had no idea what kind of connection, and I had no clue what it meant or if I should be denying it. I didn’t want to, but there was a part of me screaming that I should. That I wasn’t ready, maybe I’d never be, and that I didn’t deserve it.
Maybe I hadn’t deserved it the first time around, and that was why Candy and the baby had been taken from me.
“Bax?”
When I focused on Bea’s face, there was no pity etched there. All I saw was understanding.
“I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothin’ to be sorry for,” she said quietly. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. It’s okay.” She lowered her body over mine, sitting astride my thighs. My cock jerked between us, still raring to go even though my mind had screeched to a sudden stop. “But… may I?” she asked, and she looked between my legs, at the hard-on tenting my sweats. “It wouldn’t be sex. It would only be release.”
Relief was what it would be. To have Bea’s hand or her mouth around my cock? Sweet fucking relief.
I nodded, and she smiled, her green eyes warm with acceptance. She really was okay with my unreadiness to have sex.
“Should I not kiss you?” she asked. “Does that make it too personal for you?”
“Oh, God no, Bea. I love when you kiss me. You’re really good at it. I want you to get personal with me. I have a feelin’ you don’t do that with a lot of people.”
She shook her head.
“It’s just that sharin’ my body with someone again, actual sex… It scares me.”
