Page 26 of The Care of Broken Things
No, I don’t have any pets. I was supposed to get a dog for my twelfth birthday, but now I think I should wait until daddy gets home. I feel like if he came back and the dog didn’t know him, he’d feel like we moved on without him.
The only language I speak well is English, but daddy speaks to me a bit in French sometimes, and Thaniel taught me a few Latin phrases so I can sound smart when adults are being pretentious. The one he uses themost is “Ex nihilo nihil fit,” when I’m feeling lazy.
I like school most of the time. And I know why you asked. Because of the bully thing I mentioned, right? Well don’t worry about me. I only have to worry about Jemma Woodson, and you have a lot more to deal with. Do you really have someone named One-ball? I overheard daddy telling Thaniel on the phone.
Daddy and Thaniel met five years ago, and in December they’ll have their fourth wedding anniversary. They were supposed to go to France after Thaniel’s semester ended, but that’s no longer happening, obviously. Daddy tried to convince Thaniel to go there anyway and take Uncle Darren, but Thaniel wouldn’t hear of it. He says he only gets a few hours a week to see daddy, and he’s not going to miss any of them. Also, I think France is too full of memories for him. It’s where they went for their honeymoon.
Yes, I do have a sibling! A brother named Kevin. He’s only three, and he’s suuuuuper cute. He looks so much like mommy, and he cries when I leave to go to daddy’s. Isaac tried suggesting that I stay home full time now that Daddy’s in prison. As if Thaniel isn’t my father too! I told him that maybe I’d stay with Thaniel full time until Daddy got out. That shut him up fast. But I can’t do that to Kevin. I wish I could take him with me when I go. I asked once, but mommy wouldn’t hear of it. I don’t get why. Kevin likes daddy a lot. He doesn’t see him often, but sometimes mommy will drop him off if she can’t find a babysitter, or she used to. She stopped after she and Isaac went to Hawaii in April. Kevin and I stayed with Daddy and Thaniel for over two weeks. It was great. But then Kevin cried when it was time to leave, and he still asks about when he’ll get to go visit daddy. Isaachateswhen he says stuff like that, which I don’t think is fair. Daddy doesn’t get offended when I mention Isaac. All the politicsof living in two houses is lame, but at least I get Thaniel and Uncle Darren out of it.
I think that was all your questions, and this letter is getting long again. Why did you type yours? Do you not like your handwriting? Thaniel says he writes like a chicken with Parkinsons, but I kind of like it. Daddy does too, though he pretends he’s studying ancient hieroglyphics whenever he comes across one of Thaniel’s grocery lists.
I really liked your letter. Most adults dumb themselves down to talk to me, but you don’t. I know I started all this as a way to get information on daddy, but do you want to be friends? I know you’re not supposed ask like that, but I don’t have a lot of practice with friendship, and I didn’t want to make assumptions.
Be safe.
Your probationary friend,
Hailey
He was still staring at the letter when Eli came to collect him for dinner. They ate all their meals together now. All he’d needed to do after the first meal was wake up and say, “What’s for breakfast?” and by lunchtime Eli came to find him with a breezy, “You hungry?” and just like that it was a habit.
He didn’t notice Eli when he first came into the dorm. He looked up because the shitty light flickered, and there he was, leaning against the doorless-doorway with a soft smile. “That from Hailey?”
For a moment he was afraid Eli would ask to see it. There wasn’t anything incriminating in the letter, but he knew, with real certainty, that Hailey wouldn’t want her father’s eyes on it. But Eli didn’t ask to see it. “Thaniel said she read your letter first thing after getting back fromschool—before even taking her shoes off. And then a second time before bed, and then again at the breakfast table. I’m not sure if I should smack you or kiss you.”
He hoped the question was rhetorical. “I’m hungry.”
Eli’s smile spread. “Of course you are.”
Chapter Seven
First Line of Defense
Between the food, the letters, Jenny’s visits, and Nathaniel’s surprisingly decent company, his days improved, and his perceptions began to shift. It was dangerous, he knew, but he began to look forward to things. And not just individual things like meals or his sister’s visits, but whole days began to seem fraught with possibility. He knew he was in trouble when he woke one Monday and instead of going through the usual mental list of people to watch out for and things he needed to do, he simply climbed down from his bed, ready to start the day. Usually the first thing he did was grab his shower caddy, but on Mondays he only took a book and went to the usual spot. He’d only just settled into a chapter when a warm body sank down beside him.
So close, Eli seemed even bigger than usual, impossibly big, and the thigh pressed up against his was a velvet-coated tree trunk. He opened his mouth for some kind of protest, but his breath had fled his lungs. At times like these, he was forced to realize how his “progress” with Eli was mostly imagined. He could talk to the man without too much heart-thudding fear, but when Eli was touching him—and touching him likethis—his mind would go blank, and he’d have to fight to keep from trembling.
“This is more public than your usual spots. What are we doing here?”
Straight-out-of-the-shower Eli smelled like deodorant and cocoa butter. It was a new smell for him. They didn’t stock cocoa butter in the commissary. It had come from Nathaniel’s first care package.
“I don’t know whatyou’redoing here.I’mwaiting for commissary to open.”
“Commissary? That won’t be until eight.”
“And?”
“It’s 5:21.”
“I like to get first place in line.”
Eli looked down into the deserted hallway, doubts clear. Samuel tried to look dignified, a difficult feat when he had Eli all but on top of him, sitting together on the floor like kids waiting for their first class of the day. “I deter others this way. If I’m always here first, they give up on trying to take what I like.”
“You do know you don’t have to buy the entire case of Reese’s every week, right?”
That was probably true. Now that he was eating better, he could probably get by on maybe half a case? Still, he’d probably buy all of it again. Old habits were hard to break.
“There’s also your stuff.”
