Page 19 of The Care of Broken Things
“No. It’s just, I should eat something else first. Something not as good, so I can fill my stomach, and then I can take my time with—”
Eli was already laughing as he pushed him back down onto the bed. “If it’s good, then eat. There’s plenty.”
He told himself he’d keep each bite in his mouth for ten seconds, but he barely reached five before more eggs were in his mouth. Some of the struggle must have shown itself on his face because Eli was still laughing.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, except it came out different with a full mouth.
“You just remind me of Nathaniel’s brother. He can’t stand me, but he likes my food, so every time there’s this big battle where he forces himself to hate it.”
That was almost surprising enough to pause his meal. Someone hating Eli. Was it possible? Everyone so far was acting like he was god’s gift to humanity.
“What did you do to him?”
“Stole his soulmate away. Or at least, so he says. Nathaniel’s the light of his life. When his brother’s in the room, it’s like no one else exists.”
Something was wrong with his mouth, like it was suddenly too tight.Calm down, he told himself.It’s not like you and Jenny. That’s impossible.
Eli didn’t seem to have noticed. Talking about Nathaniel, even in an indirect way, had transported him somewhere else. “It’s sweet to watch them, but I can’t help feeling jealous sometimes. My own brother stopped speaking to me when I married Nathaniel. Didn’t come to the wedding. He still visits Hailey sometimes, but he won’t come into the house.” There was pain in his voice, but he rolled right along. “I keepthinking he’ll come around, that he’ll tire of the stupidity, but he’s always been stubborn. It was useful when we were kids. Like when they tried to send us each to different homes. He was only eight, and I was six, and I cried all the way to my new placement because I was sure, in my stupid kid’s brain, that I would never see him again. But I saw him again the next morning. Anthony had run away from his placement and walked seven miles to come to mine. Walked right up to the door, rang the bell, and said he wasn’t going anywhere until he was allowed to live with me. Damien, that was the name of that foster father, asked my brother how exactly he planned to live if he wasn’t allowed inside, and Anthony said he’d sleep on a pile of leaves and eat pigeons and squirrels for food. Probably would have done it too if the man hadn’t relented. That’s just how Anthony was. He would have done anything for me back then, and he didn’t think there was something special about that. But then I divorced Marie, and he thought that was a mistake, and then I introduced him to Nathaniel, and that was a bigger mistake, and even though he’d take a bullet for me, somehow the fact that I’m married to a man, and a white one at that, is enough to keep him out of my life when nothing could have managed it before.” Eli gave a self-conscious bark of laughter. “Why am I talking about this?”
Samuel just looked at him. Eli looked back at him. Then he seemed to remember himself. “Eat,” Eli said, “And then call Nathaniel.”
“Huh?”
It was one of the dumber sounds that had left his mouth in recent history.
“I tried to cover for you, but he’s still upset. I’d do some groveling if I were you. Here.” As Eli spoke, he’d gone hunting for a pen, realized he didn’t have one, and did the next best thing. He broke off the remaining chunk of the Hershey bar and managed to scrawl a phone number onto the covering he ripped off a toilet paper roll.
He took the pathetic piece of writing with many questions on his lips. Why did he have to call someone else’s husband? And why did Eli seem towanthim to do it? But maybe concern was just a veil for pretense. Of course Nathaniel wanted to call. He needed a private way to warn him off his man.
He wasn’t much in the mood to be called a man-whore by a scrawny hipster, but he supposed he deserved it. He took the slip of paper and tucked it into the waistband of his pants. This seemed to satisfy Eli, who considered the matter taken care of. He dropped his chocolate crayon onto the tray and said, “Who said you could stop eating?”
So Samuel ate.
His full belly brought guilt with it, so he went to the phones to make his phone call. He knew he should call his sister first, but he wasn’t quite ready to do that, so he called the number Eli gave him, but after ringing a few times it didn’t go through. He looked down at the number, wondering if he’d made a mistake, and tried again. This time the line connected and a voice he’d never heard before said. “Sorry, baby. I fell asleep after you called. How’s Samuel doing? Did he like his breakfast?”
It was Nathaniel, except he sounded different, his voice scratchy and thickened by sleep. He wasn't sure what or how to speak.
"Eli?"
It was the bump he needed. "No."
There was a pause of confusion, and then Nathaniel's voice changed. "Sam!"
That was even weirder. He hated nicknames. The only one who used one was Jenny, and that didn't count. People tried them sometimes, but usually a firm, "Samuel," served as a reminder not to try again. He took air into his chest, prepared todo just that, but Nathaniel steamrolled right over him.
"You're out, thank goodness. When Eli told me about the solitary thing, I thought he was joking. That sounds awful, but we have this stupid thing where we pretend he's a porno actor on a prison set—don't ask, I'm a freak. But he wasn't joking. And it was all my fault. But you're out now."
He was used to making snap judgements about people, but Nathaniel was proving elusive. He had no idea what to make of the man who sounded like a child trying to reassure himself.
"How are you feeling? Did you sleep? I can't imagine that you could. Is it as bad as it is in the movies?"
"I haven't watched a normal movie in a while."
It wasn't the answer he would have given Jenny. Nathaniel wasn't put off.
"Right. I'll assume worse. Can I ask you a question?"
He was having difficulty finding the pacing for the conversation, if it was a conversation at all. He said nothing, but even that didn't put Nathaniel off.
