Page 79 of Under the Lights

Getting to talk to my girl — my Goddess — even just a little, had kept me from spiraling completely.

Every day she was gone, I got moodier and more closed off. This wasn’t just lust. It was something deeper. Something raw, something that was wired into me now.

I needed her. Only her.

Pulling my phone out, I turned it over in my hand, again and again, so fast it almost blurred in front of my eyes. With a sigh, I gave in, like I always did. Her pull was undeniable, unbreakable.

Scrolling through our messages, a warm feeling spread in my chest. Truth was, I hadn’t even expected her to answer, with the way our last night together ended. But even if she hadn’t acknowledged a single one of my texts, I still would’ve reached out every day.

She needed to know I was still here, still waiting for her, craving her.

“Dude, you’ve got it bad.” Jax stood next to me, shaking his head as he peered down at me.

Shooting a quick text off to her,Thinking of you, I shrugged. “Yeah, I absolutely do.”

“Still no idea when she’ll be back?”

“Nope. She likes to torture me.” I grinned, a rarer sight than usual these past few weeks.

“Why are you happy about this?”

“Because,” I held up a finger, “it means she cares.”

“Yeah, I’m not so sure you got that right, buddy.”

“Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

Jax shook his head incredulously, though a grin still pulled at his lips. “I know what you’re not doing — which is lifting. So get off the fucking bench. I’ll do some more reps until you’re focused again.”

“Someday, you’ll look back at this, and you’ll get it.”

“Whatever you say,” he grunted as he pushed the dumbbells over his head.

***

My cleats dug into the turf as I went through the warm-up routine. Music blared through my headphones as I executed every move, every stretch, with purpose and focus.

Today was Fan Day Scrimmage, which meant I’d be playing in my new jersey in front of spectators for the first time. Anticipation thrummed through my body. I was fucking born for this.

As the stands slowly filled up, a flash of red hair caught my eye. Grinning, I jogged to the sidelines to greet my sister.

“Hey! Glad you could make it.”

Ella was beaming at me. “Oh my God, are you kidding? I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks. But it’s only a scrimmage.”

She scoffed. “So? Don’t act like this is nothing. You earned your place here.”

“Guess so.” I ducked my head. The happiness and anticipation were only slightly dampened by a twinge of disappointment. She wasn’t here. “Sooo … you’re still not gonna tell me?”

“Nah, don’t think so. It’s way too much fun seeing you suffer like this.” She gestured at me, a wicked smile curling her lips.

“You’re evil.” I groaned, dropping my head back.

“Awww. You’ll be alright.” She scrunched her nose at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right. Thanks, sis.” Walking backwards, I saluted her with one finger, the late morning sun warming my skin as I finished my warm-ups.

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