Page 37 of Under the Lights

Let it go?We were just gettingstarted.

Mechanically, I turned around, like moving too fast might shatter something fragile inside me. My hands shook slightly as I began stuffing clothes and essentials into my bag. Whatever I could grab. I didn’t even check what I was packing.

I just needed to move. Get out. Now.

Sisters, yeah, sure.

Each item I stuffed into the bag felt heavier than it should have. It was as if it were soaked with all the things I hadn’t said. All the things I’d let slide before.

I used to believe Jasmine had my back. I used to believe a lot of things.

The walls of this house — covered in group photos, pastel canvases with inspirational quotes, and our chapter’s motto hand-lettered in gold — looked back at me like a joke I was too slow to get.

Sisterhood. Loyalty. Unity.Right.

Maybe I’d ignored the cracks. Maybe I’d wanted so badly to belong somewhere that I’d silenced my instincts. But this — this was the kind of mistake you only make once.

My radar for trust was fried. Jasmine had just confirmed what I’d already started to suspect. I was surrounded by people smiling with knives behind their backs.

The hardest part wasn’t that Jasmine had lied. It was the resignation setting in. The normalcy of this feeling.

My hands froze over the half-packed bag. I stared at it for a moment, my heart still pounding, before the reality of the situation sank in.

Where was I even going to go? I couldn’t afford a hotel, and almost everyone I used to trust was connected to Zeta Gamma Gamma. I’d backed myself into a corner without realizing it.

Maybe someone on my team? I tried to mentally scroll through the roster, weighing who might let me crash and who would ask too many questions. The reality of the situation was that if I were to walk out now, I would most likely be living on someone’s couch until the end of the semester.

Finals were coming up fast. If I tanked those, I’d only be making things worse for myself. Should I bite the bullet and stick it out until the end of the semester? Butthenwhat?

I could already hear the voice in my head:Be smart. Wait. Don’t let them see you unravel.

With a low breath, I dropped onto the edge of the bed, the half-zipped bag at my feet like a wound I wasn’t sure how to close. I’d have to stay — at least until finals.

Play along. Keep my head down. Get through it.

That didn’t mean I was letting it go. I needed time to come up with a battle plan and potentially gather some more evidence if possible. I couldn’t afford to react purely on emotion alone.

The gears in my head kept turning. Struck by a possible solution to at least one of my problems, I picked up my phone and scrolled to Ella’s name.

The call didn’t solve everything. But it gave me enough — to stay focused, stay quiet, and make it through the next few weeks.

Thirteen

Sierra

By the time finals rolled around, I was doing everything I could to avoid people. Since I’d confronted Jas a couple of weeks ago, I’d changed my routine.

Every morning, I left home at dawn, studied at the library all day, and didn’t return until late at night, going straight to my room.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand again. Another text from Jasmine.

Jas: u coming to the mixer tomorrow? we still need someone to do the sign-in sheet :)

I stared at it for a second too long, trying to decide if she’d really just slapped a smiley face on that like nothing had happened.

Another buzz.

Jas: idk why you’re being so dramatic about this. seriously.

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