Page 105 of Bewitched & Bewildered
He doesn’t hesitate to lean in and wipe it away. “We don’t have to talk about this.”
“I want to.” I face him directly. “It’s frustrating that they’re spreading rumors around town, but I wantyouto know.”
I haven’t talked to anyone about this. Even though my sisters know, I still haven’t told them what it was like to find her… and everything that came after.
It’s been lonely, but I won’t burden my sisters with the flashes of fear that still cross my mind. At last, I have someone to listen to me… someonesafe.
“Thank you.” He holds my cheek beneath his big hand and rubs his thumb against my skin. “This is hard to talk about, isn’t it?”
“It is. It feels impossible.” There’s a truth—or maybe a lie—that’s been digging into my chest for months. It longs to break free now, but my voice shakes as I say it. “I could have saved her. I was theonlyone who could have.”
“No.” His jaw tightens. “You know that’s not true. The fates?—”
“Oh, screw the fates.”
“I agree.” He presses his lips to my forehead. “You can’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault.”
I don’t know if I believe him yet, but it’s what I need to hear. I needed these words formonths—for a year. I crumble, collapsing in his arms. Sobs escape as I lose myself to the sorrow…
And the relief.
He soothes me as I break down, and for the first time since her death, I don’t feel alone. I have to take care of my sisters, and I may not ever be comfortable letting them do the same for me…
But, for a moment, I let Ozan hold me. I give him the job instead.
Chapter 24
Juniper
November is the wettest,rainiest, grossest month of the year. I love it. It’s a perfect fit for how I feel.
I’ve been without a job and a business for a week now. Phone calls have been flooding in. Neighbors are worried about me—about us—and I spend a lot of time assuring them everything is fine.
At least people aren’t asking about buying the shop. I’m not ready for that conversation, even though I know the time will come. I mayneverbe prepared for it. Seeing the shop vacant on Main Street brings me no joy, but giving it up and seeing it turned into a sandwich shop?
I can think of nothing more gutting thanthat.
It is time to look for a job—or at least decide what I want to do. I settle onto the couch with my laptop. Our couch now has a permanent indent in the shape of my body.
Doing nothing has been nice. It’s the first time I’ve let myself relax, and let other people care for me, including Ozan. He’s been the shining light in all of this.
He’ll be proud of me for updating my resume. Baby steps. That’s what I have to take right now.
I stare at the long list of past jobs and all the memories that come with them. None of them were right for me. Why? If I can only figure that out, perhaps I can find something thatisa good fit.
The apothecary was open for less than a month. My resume only has a month-long gap. I don’t have to add the shop to the list, but… I want to.
It didn’t work out, but it was a necessary time. Perhaps I can get a management job somewhere now that I have experience. That would be nice.
My long nails click and clack against my keyboard as I type. I lean back, staring at the words.
Hawthorne Apothecary.
At least it will be immortalized on my resume.
There’s a knock on the door. It’s so loud that, for a second, I confuse it with the thunder. It comes again, and I jump out of my skin, turning to the front door. I have half a mind not to answer it. It’s dark and eerie outside, and none of my sisters are home…
But Starbrook is the safest place I can think of. One of my neighbors may need help. That’s all it is.
