I follow him through the store like a shadow as he browses crotchless underwear and vibrators, and after a while, the experience isn’t as jarring. Maybe we can be like this—a normal, relaxed couple, casually browsing sex toys on a random Thursday.
But we’re not normal, and we’re not relaxed. At least, I’m not.
Normal couples don’t start out holding each other captive. Normal couples don’t depend on each other to continue living. At least, I don’t think so.
We end up in front of the lube section, and I grab a silicone-based one of the same brand as the one we ran out of. Thinking we might as well stock up, I grab another one. And another one.
Asher laughs as I end up grabbing at least five bottles. “Hey, how much are you expecting us to fuck?”
I turn toward the cashier. “This way, we won’t have to leave home for a while.”
Asher lingers behind, and when I glance at him as I pay for the lube with his card, he’s got his arms wrapped around himself, biting his lower lip.
Not good. We need to get home as soon as possible.
After we’ve exited the store, I walk straight to the car.
“Wait a minute.” Asher slows me down with a hand on my shoulder. “How about we go eat lunch? I’m hungry.”
“We have food at home.”
“Yeah, but not burgers.”
“You want a burger?”
“Yeah, and fries. Let’s go to Sidney’s.”
I frown as I throw the bag of lube bottles into the back seat.
“Come on,” Asher coaxes. “It’ll be like a date. Our first date.”
I sigh, but when I look into his eyes—the hope shining through, the excitement—I’m helpless to refuse.
We get into the car and drive the minutes-long distance to Sidney’s Diner. If the sex shop was easy in terms of people and overstimulation, Sidney’s is a whole lot harder.
I stiffen as we walk inside, hit by the smell of greasy fries and the sounds of people chatting and machines beeping. Asher takes my arm and leads us up to the cashier. All the while, I repeat a mantra in my head.
I can do this. Asher wants a burger, and he wants to eat it with me like we’re on a date. Because we are. A super casual and normal date.
Once we’ve ordered and received our food, we sit by a vacant table in the corner. I hunch over the table and eat with mechanical bites while Asher leans back in his chair and sticks fry after fry into his mouth.
I try to focus on him and calm down, but the environment we’re in makes that a little hard. How can anyone relax at a place like this? Children are screaming and running around in the aisles, gangs of teenagers are playing video clips on their phones, and now and again, I feel their gazes shift to me. The whole thing reminds me of school—of being watched, of being alienated.
I grab the edge of the table, knuckles going white with the force. I’ve barely touched my food.
“Are you okay?” Asher reaches over the table and lays a hand over mine. He’s done that a lot today.
I shake my head. “Too much noise.”
“It’s okay. We can leave.” He wipes his mouth with a napkin, but just as he’s rising from the chair, a hand grabs his arm.
“Asher?”
A girl about his age stands by the side of our table. Her long black hair is tied into ponytails, and she’s wearing a bloodred top and a checkered skirt. Behind her, another girl, who I guess is her friend, is sipping a Diet Coke from a straw.
“Lilith!” Asher says.
Oh. So this must be his cheating ex-girlfriend.