Asher reaches over to my abandoned plate, grabs a strand of spaghetti, and slurps it into his mouth. “Let’s do it, then.”
He hops off the barstool, and I follow him downstairs. I like having him roam freely in the house; I like seeing him enjoy himself. Had I known he would have stayed if I uncuffed him, I would have done it sooner, but this is all still so new between us, and I still have difficulty navigating our relationship. Not only that, but Asher’s feelings toward me in general.
I don’t dare ask. All I can do is try to give him the affection I so want to give and receive in return.
Asher fills the bath this time. Getting undressed in front of each other is more awkward for me than it is for him. As usual, Asher is completely unbothered by his nudity, and he smirks at my obvious discomfort.
“It’s okay,” he says. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
“I’ve seen you undressed more than you have me.”
His smirk falls, and a shadow passes over his face. “Yeah, well, I didn’t have much of a choice back then, thanks to you.”
Unable to muster a reply, I swallow against the knot forming in my throat and get into the bath, and Asher follows. While he hisses at the heat, I surrender to it, sighing and relaxing my muscles. We sit facing each other, our legs touching under the water.
“I made it too hot,” Asher complains.
“It’s fine.”
He raises a brow. “You seem like the kind of person who’d have cold baths. You know, like those cold plunges. You’d just sit in them like a psycho and enjoy it.”
I try for one of his teasing smirks. “Maybe it’s because I’m not a whiny little child, like you.” My face is accustomed to notexposing any of my emotions, but Asher is so animated in the way he talks, and he must be rubbing off on me.
“Fuck off,” he snorts and splashes me with water. “My skin is gonna burn right off.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
We lapse into silence for a few moments. Asher glances down into the water while I keep my gaze firmly on him. After a while, I reach for his hand under the water. He startles as I grab it, but then he flicks his gaze up to me and smiles a shy smile. Suddenly, I find it hard to breathe. He entwines our fingers under the water, still with that shy little smile on his face.
His cheeks turn red, and he glances away. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you like me.”
“But Idolike you.”
He snorts, staring down into the water. “You liked fucking me?”
“I did. But I don’t just like having sex with you, Asher; I likeyou.”
His cheeks flush again, and he refuses to meet my gaze. “I like you too.”
I smile and squeeze his hand under the water, unable to believe my luck, wondering what I could have possibly done to deserve this. Every moment with him is a moment to treasure. Time disappears when we’re silent like this, just enjoying each other’s company, each other’s touch. In some ways, it feels even more intimate than sex.
Craving more closeness, I slide forward and spread my legs around Asher’s body. He inhales a sharp breath as I lift my free hand to touch his cheek, sliding my thumb over his cheekbone.
“Do you remember this?”
“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah, I remember it.” His hand comes out of the water to touch my own cheek. “Like this, yeah?”
I nod, struggling to speak. That first moment in the bath, when he touched me of his own volition, his eyes as soft as his touch?…?It means so much to me. More than I can ever hope to explain.
“I’m glad you’re here, Noah,” Asher says, looking steadily into my eyes. “I’m glad you stayed.”
“Me too.” My voice chokes up with unshed tears, but there’s no reason to be sad now, so why do I feel like crying?
He slides his hand down my cheek, my jaw, and finally, he fits it around my throat. “I don’t want to feel like that again,” he mumbles. “Ever.”