“Sure you do, nerd.” My smirk is replaced by a gasp when he pushes a finger inside. “Oh,” I choke out.
“Relax, Goldilocks.”
“Okay,” I gasp. It startled me, that feeling, even though I thought I was ready for it. “Okay. Okay.”
“I’ve thought about it too. A lot.”
“What? Fucking me?”
He nods, and that determined look in his eyes makes me whimper for some reason. His finger in my ass makes me whimper even more.
“You doing me. Me doing you.” He goes deeper, deeper, until he pushes past the final knuckle, and my breath catches in my throat. “Everything.”
“Fuck?…?I want everything too, but I’m?…”I’m scared. Scared of the pain that might come. But I don’t justwantto do this; Ihaveto. Noah can’t ever leave me alone again. I have to show him how good it can feel to be alive.
“Here.” He grabs my hand and guides it to his arm. “Squeeze me when you’re ready to add one more.”
One more? Oh god. One already feels like a lot.
“What does it feel like?” I ask, desperate for some kind of distraction. “Being inside me?”
“It’s so tight,” Noah mumbles. “And warm.” His lips part as he slides his finger out of me, agonizingly slow. “Can’t wait to feel this around my cock.”
“Oh god.” I throw my head back against the pillow, my face heating up. I can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. And yet his voice is so flat, so devoid of emotion, even when he says those dirty things to me. I tighten my hand around his arm. “One more.”
The pressure increases as he tries to do as I told him, and pearls of sweat form on his brow.
“Exhale,” he tells me, and I do. Pressure, pressure, and then?…?the second finger slips inside. “Good,” he mumbles. “I almost thought it wasn’t going to work.”
“It will work,” I grit out, rocking my hips a little to get used to the feeling. “It has to work.”
“It doesn’thaveto. We have time.”
He’s right; we’re all alone in here, with nowhere to go, yet part of me feels like the world is pressing in on us. That our time together is limited. That any second now, we’ll be ripped from each other. By who? I have no idea. Maybe by each other. Maybe by Noah deciding it’s not worth his time being alive after all. I can’t let that happen.
He twists his fingers inside me as he keeps sliding them in and out. At last, it no longer feels so foreign. It feels good, even.
“I’m ready,” I mumble, squeezing his arm. “I’m ready for you now, Noah. Please take me.”
I no longer care about the risk of pain. This is taking too long, and I’m dying to feel him inside, to show him the pleasures he’s been missing out on.
He grips his cock and fits himself between my legs, but I stop him by squeezing his arm.
“More lube.”
“Oh.” He pours another dollop of lube into his hand and slides it over his cock. “Sorry.” He licks his lips and tries again, and I tilt my head back, waiting for that intrusion to come. Instead, he just rests the head of his cock against my entrance. “Are you scared?”
“No. Are you?”
He smiles, and his hair falls into his face, hiding everything except his glittering eyes. “Don’t lie, Goldilocks.”
I fail to hold back a whimper. Fuck, why does it suddenly feel likeI’mthe virgin between the two of us? I guess I am, in a way—I haven’t ever gotten my ass fucked before, let alone by a guy—but I’ve had sex before, a hundred times by now. Yet it feels like I’m experiencing every sensation for the first time. I want to get it over with, want to get used to it.
“Do it. Please do it, Noah.”
He sinks toward my body, and the pressure?…?it?…?itburns. But I have to do this; I want to?…?I try to relax my muscles, try to focus on Noah instead—how his hair curtains his face and his brow scrunches in concentration.
And?…?he’s inside.