Page 23 of Creatures Like Us
“Isn’t she supposed to be, like, buried in a graveyard or something?”
“Why?” Noah says plainly. “This is where she lived all her life. Why not bury her in a place she’s familiar with?”
“I guess, but?…?wouldn’t the authorities think it’s strange that you buried her in the backyard? Kind of suspicious, don’t you think?”
“They don’t know. And I didn’t plan on staying long enough for it to matter.”
“Staying?” I have a hunch about what he’s getting at, and I don’t like it.
“The night I found you, I was supposed to go into the woods and never come back.” He still has his hands in my hair, soaping me up as if we’re just talking about the weather.
“Oh.” What do I say to that? Nothing. I can’t say anything. My throat is too choked up with tears. “Noah?…”
“Close your eyes. I’m going to rinse your hair out now.”
“Okay.”
It strikes me that he might as well be lying, but he doesn’t seem like a very good liar. It’s just?…?The way he said it?…?as if it’s not a fucked-up thing to say, as if it wouldn’t upset me. Maybe hewantedto upset me though. Or maybe he just wanted to make me understand him so I could start liking him by pitying him, but?…?Fuck, I can’t really make sense of it yet. I’m too tired, and I’m too fucking sad. I just want to sink into the water and disappear, and for all I care, Noah can sink with me.
Seems like we’ve got a lot more in common than I thought. Seems like we’re fucked up in much the same way, he and I. It’s comforting, somehow. Makes me feel less alone. If not for the drugs, I would’ve done the same thing Noah was about to do, long ago?…
Admitting it to myself makes my heart kick up a beat, and my chest twists uncomfortably as I try to hold back the tears. A few trickle out while Noah rinses my hair, and they mingle with the water.
“Did you get soap in your eyes?” he asks.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
I turn around, and Noah freezes, eyes widening. He stiffens even more when I lift my wet hand and put it to his cheek. I don’t know what to say exactly, but it seems as though, in this moment, words are unnecessary between us.
Noah’s lips part, and his cheek heats up under my palm. I cradle him like that for a while, and we just gaze into each other’s eyes, silent in mutual understanding.
It’s okay.I try to push the words into his mind.It’s okay.
This moment feels devoid of all the external factors between us—the fact that he’s my captor, that I should hate him and want to destroy him. Right now, for these precious few seconds, I feel like he’s my friend instead—a friend who’s got pain inside, a pain I’m well acquainted with myself.
We’re united in that pain, even though we should maybe be united in something else. Common interests, common humor. But we have none of that, so the pain is better than nothing, I guess. It’s better to have someone, to stand united in that darkness, than to stand there alone.
I close my eyes, and when I open them again, Noah is smiling at me. The smallest, shyest smile. A smile like he doesn’t quite dare to believe what is happening.
And I smile back.
Don’t get me wrong; I still hate him. I still want to hurt him for what he’s done to me. I just think he deserves this moment, small as it is, and I think I do too.
Chapter 8
Noah
Asher’shand.Asher’shandis on my cheek, and he’s gifting me with his first genuine smile that he hasn’t immediately tried to hide.
This is it. A moment in time I’ll remember forever, even in death. Everything I’ve been through leading up to this point has been worth it. Oh, how a few seconds can feel like hours, with Asher’s wet hand on my cheek and his eyes searching my face, and that flicker of empathy I didn’t even realize until now how much I craved.
Auntie never knew the true extent of my troubled mind. She provided me with her own brand of comfort but never comfort like this.
If it’s even real.
Any second now, Asher will withdraw his hand and laugh at my blatant hunger for his affection. How obviously starved I amfor his skin on mine. It was his choice to touch me though—I didn’t do anything. Didn’t threaten, didn’t command. My knife lies abandoned on the floor. Asher could bend down right now, clutch it in his hand, and sink it into my throat before I even have time to understand what transpired.
