Page 41 of Creatures Like Us
I suppose what he’s doing to me is understandable, even if it isn’t right. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have him take care of me, after all; Lord knows I’m not very good at doing it myself. Maybe, if I assured him I wouldn’t escape, he could unchain me so I could roam freely in his house, at least?…
I shake my head, pinching my eyes closed. That is such a ridiculous thought. This place is taking its toll on me. Noah is taking his toll on me. Fucked up is what it is. Some Stockholm syndrome bullshit.
Noah turns to his side, and—desperate to distract myself—I wrap my arm around him, spooning him like I did last night.
“Do you want to cry?” I ask.
“No.”
“But you want me to hold you?”
“Yes.”
The tighter my hold, the more I feel him relax. He trusts me?…?Or maybe it isn’t trust but that he doesn’t care about what I do to him. Like a desperately starving creature who doesn’t mind being fed poisoned slop, as long as it’s fed.
I sigh into his nape and close my eyes. After a while, sleep sees fit to claim me, pushing me under, with Noah’s scent in my nose and his body pressed tight against mine.
Chapter 12
Noah
Idriftoutofsleep to find something hard pushing against my backside, along with someone breathing deeply against my neck. Asher.
He’s still asleep, I think. He’s not moving much, but the feeling of?…?that partof him pressed up against me makes my skin tingle.
Last night, he seemed to think my inexperience was hilarious. If ever something were to happen between us, which I scarcely dare hope, would he start laughing if I did something wrong? I don’t know. I don’t feel ready to find out just yet, and besides that, it doesn’t make sense that Asher would evenwantto find out.
He said I’m punishing him, and if that is truly what he thinks, how can he endure being close to me? How can he ask me where I want him to touch me? How can he listen to one of themost painful experiences of my life and then let me cry in his embrace? It doesn’t make a lick of sense.
I shift a little, lessening the curve of my back. The movement brings me closer to Asher, and I feel?…?I feel him, there, lined up against my left buttock. With us both lying in the fetal position, his thighs and knees are lined up to the backs of mine, even his calves, all of him pressed to all of me, as close as we can get.
Asher lets out a breathy noise, still asleep. I want him to stay that way, or at least, I want him close. Awake, he’s unpredictable: affectionate one moment, abrasive the next. Asleep, he’s warm, and he’s close, and he can’t question me about the complicated aspects of our relationship. He can’t accuse me of?…?of punishing him. I would never do such a thing. He’s been punished enough. We both have. What we need is some respite from the outside world, and I want nothing more than to give it to him, even if he might never forgive me for it?…
Another shift of my body sends him out of sleep with a jerk. When he realizes what he’s doing—what part of him is pressed up against me—he sighs and rolls to his back.
“Sorry,” he mutters.
I roll over to look at him. “For what?”
He raises an eyebrow, glancing down between our bodies. “Forthat.”
“It’s not something to apologize for.”
“Well.” He smiles wryly. “I thought it might be uncomfortable for you, since you’re a virgin and all.”
“It’s just morning wood. It happens.”
Asher smirks. “Oh yeah? Did it happen to you too? Let me see.”
My cheeks heat up in a panic. I don’t know what to do, so I turn back around.
He chuckles softly. “Kidding, kidding. Fuck, I love it when you get shy like that.”
He rolls toward me, spooning me again and sliding his hand into my hair. I sigh as he gives it a playful tug. His hand inches toward my cheek, then, and further still, cupping my jaw, the side of his hand pressing lightly on my throat.
My breath stills. I could stay like this forever. That touch of his is rooting me to the center of the earth, and it’s doing something else too?…?something that stirs the heat between my legs, making me squirm.
“Hmm,” Asher mumbles. “You like that, do you? How about this?” He tightens his hold on my throat, and a full-body tremble courses through me.
