Page 75 of Bloom
The minky left him to go root around in the larder while she checked the herbs on the tray. Foofy ambled out after a couple of minutes with a piece of cheese hanging from his mouth.
“Did he bite that off?” asked Jaime, and she sighed.
“I swear, everything I own is his too.”
Foofy got into Aleric’s lap, took the cheese, and tried to push it to his lips.
“I’m not eating anything that’s been in your mouth!”
“Foofy, get down.” She tasted something as Aleric struggled with the minky still trying to feed him. “Most of this stuff is fine, but I think these blue bits are norsip. It can be used for constipation, although it’s rarely done because it can be so harsh. Are you constipated?”
“No! I didn’t want anything for that.”
“Most don’t use it because while it can be gentle in very small doses over a few days, moving your insides can eventually turn into, er, a very unpleasant experience. When you stop, it doesn’t leave your system right away, and…to put it mildly, you might find yourself needing to change your trousers. Not everyone suffers from that, but quite a few do. Many don’t tolerate it well at all, and it can cause bad cramping.”
“Why would she put that in there?” Jaime demanded.
“Maybe she doesn’t know herbs that well and her knowledge is too patchy. Some think constipation is a cause of stress, although that’s such an old idea.”
“Good thing I stopped taking it.”
Delphine dumped the contents of the tray into the fireplace as the minky settled against Aleric and ate the cheese himself. “If you’d like, I can make a mixture that won’t have you cramping and running for a privy.”
“Eh, I think I’m good for a bit.”
So that was Olivier’s plan. Give Jaime mysterious stomach problems. They wouldn’t kill him, and it could be used as an explanation later if Olivier needed to off him. If Jaime hadn’t been feeling well for a while, it would seem as though his problems cropped up naturally and were the result of an odd illness.
“You’ve got Olivier for most of your needs, but do you want anything?” She squinted at Foofy who was still patting Aleric’s stomach and letting out his low chirpy purr sound.
“No. What is he doing?”
She shrugged and looked away for a moment. “I suppose he likes you. Foofy, come here.” Foofy lolloped across the table to sit in her lap. “Aleric, do you feel alright?”
He stood. “I’m fine. Jaime?”
“I feel better since I haven’t been taking the medicine in quite a few days. So far, I haven’t had an unexpected need to change my trousers.”
“If you do need anything to settle it, I’m sure Olivier has things like that, but you'll probably be just fine.”
“We’ll see you later,” said Aleric. “Thanks for helping him.”
“Be careful of wise women with old ideas. Stay here, Foofy. You don't need to pet him more.”
Jaime snorted once they were outside. “Constipation is the cause of stress?”
“Like she said, it's an old idea.” Aleric stretched and sighed by his horse. “That was one strange minky.”
“He’s cute. I bet he’d love to come home with you.”
“I’d rather have a cat. At least the cat won’t try to shove spitty cheese into my mouth.”
“Since I won’t suffer from surprise diarrhea that’ll have me clenching my ass cheeks and running for the nearest privy-”
“I really didn’t need that image.”
“There’s a piece of evidence to set aside,” Jaime swung himself into his saddle. “Why would the physician try to make me shit myself if he's knowledgeable? Hmm?”
They didn’t exactly have the whole idea fully plotted out, but it was a start. If asked why he said nothing before, Jaime could say he was afraid of accusing the court physician and assumed it to be an honest mistake.
