Page 6 of What A Croc
His name is Jackson, my gazelle told me primly.You should address our fated by his first name.
I won’t be addressing him as anything other than Mr. Sobek, father to one of my charges.
But–
No. We can’t keep him.
My gazelle huffed in annoyance at me but lapsed into blessed silence.
Sighing once more–because today was a day for all the sighs–I pushed with one foot to start the rocking chair inmotion. The motion of the chair always soothed me, and I did my best thinking in it, enjoying the quiet.
What was I going to say to Jackson on Monday morning? A relationship between us couldn’t possibly work. The alpha was a good ten years younger than me, but if I was being honest, he was probably closer to fifteen years my junior. And while my son and his mate had a larger age gap than that, it was different when it was an older alpha and a younger omega.
Old fashioned, my gazelle snickered.
Shaking my head, I ignored him. It wasn’t old fashioned thinking on my part, but one steeped in simple biology. An alpha Jackson’s age would likely want another child, maybe more than one. He was young to be a widower, and he was in the prime of his life. The prime of my life had passed me by, and I sometimes feared I had missed the best parts.
My doctor appointment earlier in the week had confirmed what I had already begun to suspect. I had been absolutely fine when Dr. Finn Sinclair, my OB/GYN, had gently informed me that all my tests pointed to me beginning the early stages of the omega change.
He hadn’t told me anything I hadn’t already suspected. My heats had always been like clockwork, one every three months. But this last year I only had one heat. When I had missed the first heat I had assumed it was due to stress. I had just walked out of an over twenty-five-year marriage.I had upended my entire life, moved across the country with whatever I could pack in a couple of suitcases. I was trying to be a part of my son’s life while starting a brand new life of my own. It had been stressful, especially when our divorce had turned into one large, contentious fight, Jane arguing about every little thing.
I had been exhausted, mentally, physically, deep down in my soul, so one missed heat hadn’t alarmed me. It likely helped that I knew there was no chance I was unexpectedly pregnant, so I hadn’t lost any sleep over that possibility. But by my third missed heat I knew something was up with my body. Add in other symptoms I had noticed, besides my age–trouble sleeping, producing less slick, occasional bloating–and I hadn’t been surprised by the diagnosis.
Since it seemed that one of the main reasons fated mates even existed was for procreation, there was no reason for Jackson to be stuck with a mate whose time for that had passed. Many fated mates found themselves expecting rather quickly, despite birth control measures. But there was no way I could give Jackson a child.
Thank the Goddess Fate had made it so fated mates could walk away from one another. They were commonly referred to as out clauses, but instant love was no longer a thing with most fated mates. Attraction, yes, but if fated mates found that they weren’t compatible, they were able to just go their separate ways. They could even find other mates and be with them, in long and healthy relationships.
Of course, many people argued that even though Fate said you could walk away from one another, fated mates always, always found their way back to one another.
Snorting at that, I silently wished Jackson well in my mind. He had obviously found a mate before me and he would have my blessing to do so again. The last thing an alpha like Jackson needed was an omega who couldn’t give him more children and had likely been a teenager when he’d been born.
I’d tell him just that the next time I saw him.
Oh, are you going to stop hiding from him like a frightened child?My gazelle inquired blandly.Because, you know, to let the man go, you need to actually speak to him.
I’ll tell him Monday morning when he drops Aiden off. I’ll just…tell him that this thing…whatever it is–
You mean the fated mates thing? That thing?
With an annoyed sound, I ignored my gazelle. Didn’t they think this decision was hard for me? Because it was. My mind had been running wild all week with all the implications and what ifs, since we had touched.
What would it be like to be fated to someone like Jackson?
I didn’t even know the man, but just from our first meeting I knew he was kind. That he loved his son. That he was a good father. That I liked the way the color of his eyes swirled with green and brown like they couldn’t decide what color to be, and his smile made my stomachdo somersaults. Oh, and that he smelleddivine. He looked like he had strong arms that would hold me tight at night…something that had been sadly lacking in my former life.
“Nope.” Draining the last dregs of my coffee, I slammed my empty mug on the porch railing with a loud thud. “Not going there.”
What I needed was a nice run in my gazelle form. It always helped clear my head, and I could just enjoy the cloudless morning and sunshine. Jogging to the edge of the property–okay, walking fast because I didn’t jog in my human form–where the woods ran right up to our property line, I quickly shed my clothes and left them in a heap on the grass.
Closing my eyes, I relaxed, feeling the effortless way my gazelle took form. My gazelle wasn’t large, only standing about three feet from shoulder to hoof. The two large horns on the top of my head were about ten inches in length and added an illusion of height and size.
Taking off on a run, I let my gazelle go. Despite my loathing of running in my human form, my gazelle was fast and enjoyed it. I could run up to sixty miles an hour without breaking a sweat. I could go for miles at a steady pace at about thirty miles an hour, if I wanted to. Not that I did that, ever. No one needed to run for hours on end. I much preferred walking and enjoying nature and all it offered.
This morning, I zipped along until I reached the well-worn, wide path that dissected the middle of the woods, before I slowed to a walk. A wolf family passed me, the intimidating alpha wolf nodding his head at me in acknowledgement. His omega mate, a smaller pure white wolf, yipped at two pups rolling around with each other behind them. One of the pups was as white as snow and smaller, while the other was a large, dark gray fluff of fur.
Since I knew this was Dr. Sinclair, as well as his mate, Wade, plus two of their three children, I felt no danger. Not that I ever really did here. These woods were safe, and all the shifters seemed to get along well with one another, regardless of species. Occasionally, I even spotted a couple of humans, some just out for a hike, while others walked beside their shifted mates.
My hooves plodded along the path, and I nibbled on some grass and leaves every so often. My ears picked up the sound of bubbling water, and I knew I was close to the large freshwater pond or lake. Honestly, I was never sure how to differentiate between the two. The water was good for drinking there though, and I was beginning to get thirsty. I’d get a quick drink, then head back home.
