Page 58 of His Gentle Omega
Swallowing hard, I picked at the denim covering my thigh. The tightness was back in my chest, my throat, choking me. Digging into my pocket, I popped a cough drop in my mouth, with the hope that it would help open up my airways.
Finally, I whispered, “I thought he was going to kill me. I thought, this is it. This is the night he finally does it. I’m not going to wake up. I’m not going to be able to protect Lucas from him.”
Remembering the fear I had felt that night–the sheer terror–caused my hands to tremble, and I clasped them togethertightly in front of me. Tears that I hadn’t even realized had welled in my eyes tumbled over my lashes, leaving a wet trail down my cheeks.
Tessa silently handed me a tissue and I swiped my eyes, embarrassed. “That must have been truly frightening.”
“I…” What did I say? Did I continue to lie, like I had for so many years? I was tired of lying. Tired of fighting. Tired of protecting someone who didn’t deserve my protection, when he had never offered me the same in return. Tired of being on edge, and stressed, and worried about every single word I said, or move I made. “Yes. It had happened before, but–”
When I didn’t finish the sentence, Tessa prompted, “But?”
“This time was different, somehow.” Shaking my head, I tried to find the words to explain it to a complete stranger. A person that didn’t know me or Edward. “The look in his eyes, the anger I could feel coming off him. It was just different, and I knew that…” my voice faltered, “that if I woke up, we had to leave that night.”
Tessa nodded, as if she understood. Maybe she did. I doubted mine was the first story like it she had heard. I was probably just one of many. The only uniqueness to mine was that I was an alpha and not an omega. “People reach their breaking points. The spot where they are just finally done. It’s different for every person, where that point is. I think you hit yours that night, Shay.”
She was right; I had come to some kind of realization that night. Why it had taken me so long, I couldn’t say. I knew that I needed to leave. That I needed to get Lucas out of the hell that our lives had become. But I had thought I’d have more time before setting my plan in motion.
“Do people normally stay in fucked up situations as long as I did? I mean, I put up with it for twelve years. Twelve years! What does that even say about me as a person?” Staring down at my hands, I hung my head, embarrassment flooding my body.
Her eyes held sympathy, but not pity. “Some people stay longer, Shay. Some people never leave. Some people end up dead. And some people get out, and they are able to make new lives for themselves. There is no shame in staying. It doesn’t make you a weak person.”
I snorted, swiping another tissue to wipe my eyes. “Then what does it say about me? Because it sure feels like I was too weak. Edward is an omega! Smaller than me.”
“I’ve seen the pictures, Shay,” she said quietly, then pointed towards my face and neck with her pen. “I can still see the evidence. Edward isn’t some weak omega. But this seems to be weighing on you. So, tell me. Why do you think you didn’t fight back?”
Instead of answering, all I found myself able to do was shake my head.
“Let’s go back,” Tessa murmured. “Tell me about when you first met Edward.”
“Why?”
“Because most relationships don’t start out where we’re at. Abusers–”
Fuck, I hated that word. Or maybe I hated hearing that word associated with me.
“Don’t start out being abusive. Tell me about the first time you met Edward.”
Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the couch cushion, and thought about the first time I had seen Edward.When he had walked into the garage and turned my life upside down.
“He was beautiful,” I finally said. “Bright and colorful. He was bold and brash, and I had never met anyone like him. He was wild, didn’t believe in following rules, and I fell for him before I even knew his name, I think. I wanted to be near him, all the damn time.” Opening my eyes, I looked at her. “You’re right; in the beginning it was good. Great, in fact. At least, I thought so at the time.”
“At the time? You no longer think so?”
“It was all a lie.” I gazed out the window over Tessa’s shoulder. To the green grass, and the blue sky and sunshine. To her credit, she waited for me to continue. The woman seemed to have an endless amount of patience.
“Edward was an only child.” Sighing, I rubbed my hand over my tired face. “His parents had tried a long time to get pregnant before they finally had him. He was spoiled. They were indulgent.” Meeting her gaze, I muttered, “They looked the other way at his bad behavior. Bought his way out of situations that most people would be in jail for.”
Her eyebrows rose, but still she remained silent, content to let me speak. It was almost a relief to say all this out loud to someone. Anyone.
“I didn’t know it at the time, but they had given him an ultimatum to settle down with a mate. They gave him two months to find a suitable mate on his own, or they were going to force him into an arranged mating. One of his alpha father’s friends’ sons, or something like that. As I came to find out, this was a pattern with them. When they wanted him to behave a certain way–or stop his bad behavior–they would tighten the purse strings and threaten to cut him off.”
“I take it that these ultimatums worked on Edward?”
The short laugh that escaped me held no merriment. “Every time. He was financially dependent on them. Edward partied his way out of two prestigious colleges. The Clark’s ‘donations’,” I used air quotes when I said the word, “kept it off his record the first time, and he was able to transfer to another school. The second time, Edward was drinking and driving, and he caused a serious accident that cost his parents a pretty penny to cover up and keep him out of jail. He didn’t go back to school, and they decided it was time for him to settle down. As if a mate could make him change his behavior. Based on some of the stories Edward told me, college wasn’t the first time his parents had bought his way out of trouble. It was an ongoing pattern of bad behavior from him.”
Tessa gave me a sardonic smile. “They wanted to find an alpha who could control him.”
It was a statement and not a question, and for the first time since I had arrived in her office, I felt myself relax a smidge. Tessa wasn’t stupid, and I had a feeling she was very good at her job. Less than fifteen minutes in and she had already seen the Clarks for who they truly were.
