Page 63 of His Gentle Omega
He looked so hurt and confused, and angry. But now I knew that anger wasn’t aimed in my direction, but likely at Edwardand the situation. Asher might have been an omega, but he had never stood for anyone hurting his little brother. Even when I was old enough to take care of myself.
“Because I loved him,” I whispered. It was the simple, honest truth. “I loved him, Ash.”
We broke apart then, and I let him mull that over for a minute. I didn’t know if he would understand it. Sometimes I didn’t understand it myself. How could I have loved someone who treated me the way Edward had? I wasn’t sure I even understood it now. My hope was that Tessa might be able to help me make sense of all my confusing feelings. To help me understand myself better.
“Do you…are you planning…?” Asher’s sentence trailed off, unfinished, but I understood what he was trying to ask.
Shaking my head, I clasped my hands tightly in my lap, squeezing my fingers together. It was something I did when I was anxious, as I found it helped ground me.
“I’m not going back to him. I’m pressing charges against Edward. For assault. And Alex is filing for a restraining order. The downside is that all the court papers will have my address on them. But with the restraining order he can’t do anything.”
“That couldn’t have been an easy decision,” Asher finally said. “But Shay, that restraining order is just a piece of paper. Just please be careful.”
“I will, but I really don’t think he will come here. He doesn’t even have to show up to the hearing on the Alpha Law, though I’m sure he will make an appearance with his lawyers.”
It would be just like Edward to make some kind of dramatic court entrance, but I didn’t think he was stupid enough to defy a restraining order. “He has to know we are done.”
We sat in silence for another few minutes, each lost in our own thoughts, when I blurted out, “I slept with Bennett.”
I really had no idea why I decided to randomly tell Asher that, but well, there the words were. Just falling out of my mouth like it was nothing weird.
Asher blinked hard, turning to me with an odd look on his face. “Um…that is…unexpected.”
“He’s my fated mate.” And the blurting just continued. “I mean, we’re fated mates. Bennett and me.” I rambled. “Both of us. Together.”
Stop talking, Shay, my tiger sighed heavily in my ear, clearly annoyed with my sudden desire to overshare.
Asher chuckled, “I get what it means. Gabe and I are fated, so I get it. The…feelings. Sometimes things just…happen.” Pointing a finger in the direction of my mate bite scar, he asked, “You plan on doing something about that?”
Nodding briskly, I muttered, “As soon as I can. I need to find a doctor that can break what’s left of our bond. Edward and I haven’t been true mates since before Lucas was born.” Sighing heavily, I admitted, “I haven’t shifted since before Lucas was born.”
Frowning, I didn’t like to think back on that night, the night that had caused my tiger to leave me.
Asher’s eyes were huge, “Shay, what the hell?! That’s not healthy! We need to get that taken care of.” He waved a hand towards my neck. “I know a doctor that specializes in breaking mate bonds. And maybe Tessa can help with the shifting? Fuck,” he ran both his hands through his hair, rumpling the blond strands wildly.
“Ash, calm down.”
It was weird and sweet to have someone actually give a fuck about my well-being, but me not being able to shift wasn’t that dire. I mean, it had been seven years already, and I was fine.Relatively speaking. My not-fineness had nothing to do with my inability to shift anyway. “It’s the least of my problems to deal with on a very long list of problems. Anyway, back to Bennett and me.”
Asher looked at me hard, “Is there a Bennett and you? Because…it just seems like not the best timing, is all.”
Understatement of the century.
“I…really like him,” I admitted. “I feel something for him, something strong. Maybe too strong and too quickly? I know we’re fated, but it feels a little like how Edward and I started. And I’m not sure I trust it. No,” I shook my head, “that’s not what I mean. I’m not sure I trustme. My feelings. I fell hard and fast once before, and I fell straight into hell.” Fiddling with the invisible string on my jeans that I had played with all day, I sighed. “I don’t trust myself, and I don’t want any of the mess of my life to touch Bennett. I feel like a selfish asshole for feeling this way. Because he’s so good, and kind, and wonderful, and he deserves a hell of a lot better than me. And I’m going to hurt him, and I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how not to do that, but I don’t think I can.”
Well, when I decided to finally open my mouth, I went all in.
Asher looked off into the distance for a few seconds, before offering, “I’m not sure I can give you any good advice other than just be honest with him. Even if it hurts him.”
That’s what I was afraid of.
Chapter Twenty-One
Bennett
As late afternoon moved into early evening, with still no sign of Shay, the more a feeling of dread consumed me. There was an ache in the back of my throat I couldn’t get rid of, probably from me silently gritting my teeth.
As the clock approached five p.m., I tried to keep Lucas occupied. We had planted the flowers out front, and Lucas had enjoyed getting dirty. He seemed to like being helpful and being shown how to do things. Once we cleaned up, we’d puttered around the house, doing odds and ends things that needed done. Laundry, dusting, and packing his things to take next door.
