Page 53 of His Gentle Omega
“Do you have any plans after you leave here?” he asked, his eyes scanning the forms.
“The bank,” I told him, “my brother gave me a check. It was my inheritance. I can pay you now.”
Alex raised a dark brow at me, shaking his head. “I told Bennett I would do this pro bono and I plan to honor that. You keep that money. You’ll need something until you get a job, and a little cushion in the bank will look good in court. The other thing that will look good to the judge is therapy. Dr. Tessa Carpenter is an excellent psychiatrist, and she has agreed to see you right after we’re done signing all these.” He tilted his chin towardsthe small stack.
“Therapy?” Knowing I probably needed therapy and actually doing it were two very different things.
“Yes.” Voice firm, he handed me a pen, and pointed where I should start signing. I could barely focus on the words on the papers. A bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that made my head hurt, but I got the gist of it. “I honestly think most people could do with a dose of therapy in their lives. And I think it will do you good. Tessa is excellent, and she has experience with people in your situation.”
Guess I was going to be later getting back to Bennett’s than I had thought. Apparently, I had a date with a therapist. I was just wrapping my head around having to tell Alex the things that had happened and having them replayed in a court of law. And I was eventually going to have to sit down with Asher and answer all his questions. Patience wasn’t my brother’s strong suit, and I was shocked he was giving me time. Still, I wasn’t sure I was mentally prepared to speak to this Tessa person today.
Alex pointed his pen at me, reading my mind or maybe my facial expressions. “I’m telling you, Judge Stewart likes when people have taken the initiative to get themselves in a good head space. You can skip out on going, but as your lawyer, I’m advising you against it. But you can make your own decision, Shay.”
He slid the sticky note across the desk to me, and I took it, noting it had a name, address and phone number written on it.
I wasn’t against the idea of therapy. I was sure it was helpful to people. Other people that weren’t me. And I wasn’t dumb enough to think that even though Lucas seemed well adjusted now, that somewhere in his future he might need to talk to someone about anything he had heard or witnessed. Or even the events of the last couple of weeks. Getting help for my child didnot mean that I needed the same kind of help. At least not yet. Maybe someday. But if it would help me keep Lucas, I didn’t really have much of a choice.
My heart pounded, my chest growing tight, like I was still in the grips of my illness. Dread, anticipation, and fear for what she would tell me about myself had me breaking out in a cold sweat, even as I agreed to meet with the therapist. Psychiatrist. Whatever. There was probably some distinction between the two professions, but I wasn’t clear what that was.
The truth was I could make all the excuses I wanted about Edward’s behavior, blame him one hundred percent. But we had both been in that relationship. Together. I was there and present. Like the old saying went, it took two to tango.
The harsh reality was I had loved Edward. And I had seen all the red flags and ignored every single one of them. Had rushed headfirst towards them, like a bull charging a matador. I had fallen head over heels for Edward the first time I had seen him.
Even after I saw Edward for exactly who he was, deep down inside, I had still loved him. Convinced that my love would change him into a better person. A better version of himself. That my love for him would be enough to save us both.
A dark part of me had loved the danger, excitement, and recklessness that was Edward. Had craved it even. Even after I had seen the ugliness of him. Seen the absolute cruel monster that lived beneath his beauty, I had loved him.
If I had seen all of that and still loved him, what kind of person did that make me?
That was what I feared any therapist would realize about me. That was the fear that lived inside of me, on a daily basis. It was a question I had asked myself over and over and over.
How could I have loved someone so cruel, so heartless, who would do and say the things he did to me. How could I allow that to happen to me, just because I was in love? Who did that?
And I never liked the answer I came up with.
Chapter Eighteen
Bennett
Me:They’re leaving tonight. *sad face*
Seth:You knew this was coming, Benny. Why the face?
Me:Because…things got…complicated. *face palm emoji* *eggplant emoji*
Dots appeared on my screen, disappeared, reappeared, then disappeared. Gah, it was never good when Seth chose to text something that involved that many disappearing dots.
My phone ringing in my hand made me jump. Oh Goddess, he was facetiming me. He meant business if he wasn’t texting me.
Holding my phone out as far as my arm would reach, just so I looked somewhat presentable and without three chins, Ismiled way too brightly when I hit the accept button. “Heeeyyy, aren’t you at work?”
He raised one dark brow at me, his wide light blue eyes rimmed with cobalt liner, popped on the screen. I could see he was in an empty exam room, and he firmly closed the door with a loud click. “The fuck you mean, ‘things got complicated’? They were already complicated. What did you do? Better question, do I need to come kick that alpha’s ass?”
“Bennett!” Lucas called from the hall bathroom, “Do I have ta brush my teeth?”
Glancing away from my phone screen, and my bestie’s disapproving face, I called. “Yes. And I’m going to check you did a good job. No one wants stinky morning breath in their face.”
Seth sighed loudly. “Them’s the facts.”
