Page 85 of His Sassy Omega
“I’ve decided.” My voice was firm, and I made sure to keep any trace of emotion from it. Instead, I clasped my hands together tightly, fingers digging into my flesh to the point I was sure I was going to leave bruises on my pale skin. I closed my eyes against the burning wetness I felt there, once again locking my jaw tightly.
The room was silent, the only sound my harsh breathing, Lachlan’s harsh breathing. The air was thick with tension, all of ours. I was sure Finn was warring between wanting to comfort his brother, and wanting to comfort his patient, while offering the best possible care.
I don’t know what passed between the two brothers, probably never would, before Finn quietly murmured, “I’m going to give you guys a few minutes of privacy.”
The sound of the door clicking shut made me blink my eyes open. Lachlan grabbed some tissues, and then sat down on the narrow exam bed, hip bumping me. There wasn’t any extra room for me to move over for him, so I stayed where I was. He silently, and ever so gently, wiped off thegoo on my belly and pulled my shirt down. I would fix my jeans in a minute. I didn’t want to admit they’d felt just a bit snug this morning, the snap digging into the tight flesh under my belly button.
“You said it was my choice,” I huffed, my eyes locked with his. Daring him to deny his words. His eyes were locked on mine, their blue depths giving nothing away.
He nodded his dark head, tossing the tissues in the trash. “It is.”
“Then what was all that?” I indicated his little happy dance.
He shrugged those broad shoulders of his, standing and shoving his hands into the pockets of his tight jeans. Pacing at the end of the exam bed. The movement caused the material to pull tightly across his plump, delectable ass cheeks. Despite everything this morning, all of it, my mouth watered at the sight. I had the crazy urge to bite that lush flesh, sink my teeth into that bubble butt of his, and mark him as mine.
He seemed to be gnawing on something in that brain of his, and I let him. I owed him that much. Even if I was feeling impatient in my own skin. Fighting the urge to get up, and go and run and hide somewhere, alone with all the feelings that were overwhelming me.
He turned to me, finally, and stood at the end of the bed. From my prone position, he towered over me, his body wider than the width of the exam table. He could easily overpower me, but I’d never felt afraid of him. Not once.
Not even at our first meeting, when he’d been all kinds of a jackass. I’d never been afraid he would turn his anger on me. I still wasn’t. If Lachlan had proven one thing to me in the few short weeks we’d known each other, it was that he possessed the gentlest of souls.
He was kind, attentive to my needs, gentle, sometimes extra gentle as if making up for his size and strength. He was funny, a little nerdy and shy, and very unsure of himself. All of these things just made him moreenduring to me. He was nothing like the image I’d developed in my head of him, surprising me more often than not with his actions, more than his words.
I would admit he’d put up with more from me in the last weeks than most people would have. I was self-aware enough to know I could be a handful. My mouth was a cesspool of swear words, and sassy attitude, and I used my words like weapons. To get what I wanted, and to keep people at a distance.
Only this man, this alpha –my alpha– wouldn’t stay away. No matter what I tossed at him. I knew, though, that everyone had a breaking point, and this decision of mine was probably where his was. Despite him assuring me of the contrary, I was fully prepared that once this was all over, not only would my body be empty of our baby - babies I amended - but also of him.
Yeah, this was going to hurt like hell. But I’d get over it. In time.
“Why are you so intent on terminating?” he finally questioned. Before I could answer, he continued. “I get you don’t want kids. I hear the words, but I need you to explain it to me. You readily admit you like kids, but I need you to explain it to me. I need to understand this. Please.”
It was the ‘please’ from him that did it for me. Broke me. Made the silent tears that I’d been holding in oh so well, finally break through the dam. One slipped down my cheek, then another, unstoppable.
“I can’t do it.” My voice broke and cracked with anguish. “I like the kids I can give back when there’s a dirty diaper. Or when I have cookies to bake. I put everything I had into making the bakery a success, and I don’t want to put that on hold to take care of a baby. Babies, because there are two of them, and that is just double…everything. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
It sounded like a shitty, selfish reason, but I wasn’t going to feel bad about how I felt, or what I wanted.
Lachlan looked down at the floor, hands still stuffed deep in his pockets. I could see them flexing in his jeans, opening and closing. “What if you had someone to give the babies to when they needed changed, or even when they didn’t? What if you could still run the bakery like you have been? Would that change how you feel?”
“What?” My voice was shaking. What was he saying?
“I’m right here, Quinn. I’ve been here all along. You’re not alone, but you keep acting like you are. Like you’re in this thing by yourself.I’m right fucking here.”
I opened my mouth to say what, I had no clue, but he held up a big hand, shaking his head. “No. I’m talking now, and you are going to shut up and listen for once in your life.”
That shut me up, and turned me on at the same time. I’d examine that feeling later. It definitely turned me on if the slick rushing out of my ass was any indication.
“Did I think Fate was crazy for pairing us? Yeah, at first, but then I started to get to know you. As much as you’ve let me, because you are a hard person to get to know, Quinn. You have this wall around you, and I’ve been trying like hell to climb over it. Each time I manage to make some progress, I feel you pulling away, pushing me right back down. I’ve let you because I figured it was what you wanted. But I’m done with that bullshit. It may be what you want, but it’s not what you need.”
I gulped, because it was as if he’d seen into the very depths of my soul, and all the fear I’d always felt came bubbling up to my surface and boiling over. I wanted to jump off the exam table, and run out of the room. I wanted to jump off the exam table right into his arms.
My hormones had me riding the hot mess express. I closed my eyes, to block him out, to block it all out. “I’d have to give up the bakery.”
“No one has ever said that but you.” His voice was tinged with sadness. “I’d never ask you to do that. Hire help, yes. Get more sleep, yes. Give up your passion, your dream, your business? Never have I said that to you. You are the only one who keeps saying that. Don’t confuse me with Leo, or any other asshat alpha you may have come across. I don’t deserve it.”
He was correct, even if I didn’t want to admit it. But one huge thing kept nagging at me, pushing at the back of my brain, when I wanted to get lost in all the gooeyness that Lachlan made me feel.
“You want a good little house omega. A traditional omega, to be home at your beck and call,” I whispered. “I can’t be that.”
